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ryandyson
11-09-2010, 11:54 AM
under the workload a lonely paradox
who did not accept a liver
grows yellow

meets a crossing punch
takes no time for a bruise
hiking over health and wealth to his cold fields

headache magnifies a cough stifled
on a training day

so decays a paper analyst
so a pill restores a smile
as necessary

condemned to a computer tongue
the wondrous regime affects him
a world double
should he dry in this one

or grow sick with enthusiasm
for wall brackets screeching dumb steel
and desk lamps sharpening every angle

a disabled visitor grows blue
in the waiting room

staff do the rounds
there are ten or so going solo
trapped in glass
the moon prosecutes cartilage at every turn

fast and black
you can feel their insides
all weaned on the same bleeding black diary
you can feel their black cheese
and clotted cream
my hands stinging now
with cortisol

the staff have grown blue but we see
they have gold insides
scrapped out like an apology

it has not returned
with its angry father as promised
kill it

glass advances its plain territory
as pane and terror under face masks
an inconsistent birth earns the sack
a grimace hacked off the wheal
of stolen genetics

as loyal husks
groan under directives

company invective;
inflation is eating your hopes
we have set them into orbit
once ellipsed
they will disappear
humiliated

hexed now, a social text
pushed by black tipped morals into the farmers market
a turn-sty screeches out stiff neutrals
rubber that won’t bounce and glass flooded black

http://www.aspharpoetry.blogspot.com

Delta40
11-09-2010, 05:09 PM
I feel within the abstract lies sickness, fear and anger.

hillwalker
11-09-2010, 08:18 PM
Some word combinations work better than others but I must say that in this particular piece I felt some were too clever clever to be taken as anything other than an attempt merely to be obtuse rather than illuminate.

To me it suggests a junior doctor's nightmare shift having already spent over 24 hours on call.

But I still feel this could have been so much better with a little more thought for the reader and a little more subtlety.

H