Whirl of Life

[kittypaws]

Have you watched the ceiling fan
Spin?
Ever focused enough to watch
Just one blade spin
around and around?

I have lain on the floor
And watched and tried,
But I can not get past
Four to five times
Before they melt
Into each other.

This effect made me think
Of my cat who slumbers away
Most of her days.
Perhaps it is just
The passing of time
Being comfortable
And warm.

When I walk my dog
Under the evening stars
It is much like the same
He is comfortable in his space
And I am relaxed in mine.

Perhaps it all boils down
To the spinning
Of the fan…
Much like our lives
Not enough focus
Everything moving fast
The spinning of a ceiling fan.


Kittypaws

[Delta40]

nice observational poem Kitty. One can hear the blades of the fan as it whirrs round.

You should use past instead of pass in v2
Much like the same will read better as much the same, especially as you repeat the line in the next verse too.

Cats have a wonderful life of leisure!

[tailor STATELY]

Love it kittypaws.

Yes I have watched the fan blades whirl.

Ah, to focus, to focus, to focus, to focus...

[kittypaws]

Thank you Delta for the heads up on tense...I do struggle with it so!

tailor S....perhaps we could start a focus group together! lol!

I appreciate both of your comments! This was a kinda throw it out there piece.

kittypaws

[John Trivolta]

looks like you were observating your room :D
but that is the soul of posetry observation , nice work !!!

[hillwalker]

I enjoyed the sense of trying to get to grips with time but feeling it always slip through our fingers - or blur out of focus whenever we try to examine it too closely.

One common grammatical slip which Americans seem more prone to making for some reason:

'I have laid on the floor' - should be 'I have lain on the floor'

'laid' or 'have laid' is the past tense of 'lay' (which is what hens do to eggs) - the past tense of 'lie' which I assume is what you were doing is 'lay' or 'have lain' (confusing I know).

H

[Jerrybaldy]

A great analogy kitty and I too would have got the lay/lain thing wrong. I constantly do. Is one of the gems of this place that there are people such as Hill to help.
I will think of you next time I see a ceiling fan ;)
Jerry

[kittypaws]

Jerry you made me laugh out loud! So much fun! Hmmmm...me as a ceiling fan!

Thanks for the read and comment....I agree...the gems here are very bright!

kittypaws

[Delta40]

May I suggest you use 'Thank you' rather than 'Thanks'

taking the mick Delta :-)