PDA

View Full Version : Dear Dr. Science



Steven Hunley
11-07-2010, 06:48 PM
Dear Doctor Science
by
Steven Hunley


Question:


Dear Dr. Science,

I need some advice. Today as I was walking home from Northgate Market after buying some ham-hocks for my sixteen bean soup I decided to go through the park. An Eons member suggested the ham-hocks and said they’d be perfect for my soup. I took her word. I usually take her word for such things simply because she’s an excellent cook. She found the recipe for my heart eons ago with her well-considered words.

Half-way through the park I came upon a beetle in distress, on it’s back, trying unsuccessfully to rite itself. It’s shell was iridescent green so I recognized it at once as a June bug even though it’s now November.

In the summer we use to fly them. I picked up this skill from a evil childhood friend who later became a serial-killer no doubt. Maybe not, but it sounds real dramatic.

We would catch the beetles under or in fig trees. Then we’d get sewing thread and tie around six feet to one of their legs and fly them about like a helicopter. Eventually they’d escape or we’d cut the thread and let them fly off. It was such fun because they didn’t use batteries.

I related this fact to the lady at Eons and she assured me that my innocent act had in fact been a crimey and cruel one.

“Perhaps,” I thought, “ she’s being too kind for her own good. She’s missing out on the fun."

That’s what I thought at the time.

But then I began thinking. I’d been messing with Mother Nature for my own satisfaction, being selfish, not thinking from the viewpoint of the beetles. It suddenly seemed so egocentric. I then experienced shame and guilt. There was no way to undo what I’d done.

But today I made good. I put down my hand and the creature crawled up on my finger. He wandered about and strolled to my sleeve and then headed to my cuff. Before he crawled inside I deposited him safely on a nearby bush where he calmly took a rest.

Now for my question. I flew four such beatles in my day. I think that somehow I’ve made up for one of them by helping this one out. How much longer will I have to live to make it up to the rest? I’m getting older and am worried I won’t last long enough to have the time.

Answer:

Dear Steven,

Chances are you found this one at the wrong time of the year. November is late for these creatures to be seen. If you are expecting to find more in November you may not have enough time left. As you say it’s a rare occurance.

However there is hope. Just wait until next June or July or August. Watch for them then.
There’s plenty available and more opportunity to straighten up your karma if that’s what you're trying to do. I know such things. They don’t call me a entemologist for nothing. Or Dr. Science for that matter. Good luck.

YesNo
11-07-2010, 07:37 PM
Funny story. Beetles don't need batteries. :)

Actually I think kids play with insects like that in general so humanity must have accumulated a lot of bad karma along the way. Until my daughter realized they were "gross", she even played with them.

Delta40
11-07-2010, 08:21 PM
quite amusing. I somehow thought Dr Science would give a deeper profound reply as was apparent in your question.

Steven Hunley
11-07-2010, 08:32 PM
Gee whiz, he's an insect doctor, not a doctor of philosophy!

Delta40
11-07-2010, 08:36 PM
lol. I saw a comedy sketch recently where scientists working in a lab discovered the possible cure for alzeihmers disease - then M Garnier walked in a tore them to shreds for not concentrating on the new Garnier Fructus hair product range. Highly amusing

MANICHAEAN
11-08-2010, 02:05 AM
Thoroughly enjoyed it Steve & was chuckling away as it progressed. Nice, easy style & very wry.

More please. You've got it in you.

hillwalker
11-08-2010, 07:24 AM
Enjoyable and an amusing style - the agony page of a magazine. I'm with Delta though in expecting more - something along the lines of the 'thread' being on the other leg unless he balances out the books pronto.

H