Falling in love without training wheels

[PrinceMyshkin]

I fall in love
the way I learned
to ride my bike
after the training wheels
were removed.

I careened around,
then willed the bike
to go straight, as if
willing and wheeling
were two closely related activities,
two ways to loop the afternoon air.

[hoope]

Very smart.. you always have this talent of creating a beautiful image of things.. andhow you use such comparisons.. You're so good ..

I liked reading it :)

[Delta40]

good paralell between bike riding and the perils of love Prince

[hillwalker]

Great poem, Prince.

I particularly liked the line 'two ways to loop the afternoon air.'..... and must say I think it would have been better ending it at that point.

I just feel that last stanza is in danger of taking away the magic of the two preceding ones by 'stating the bleeding obvious' to quote Monty Python.

H

[Haunted]

okay so I'm not the only one who goes splat....

Great use of analogy, and using a bicycle you're also giving us hope that it's possible we can get it right.

[Jerrybaldy]

for some reason I kept wanting to replace careened with careered. I agree with Hill. Think you could drop the third stanza altogether. That said it is as irresitible as all of your postings. They rightly never go unread. I cannot imagine not clicking on any of your postings.
cheers
Jerry the second

[PrinceMyshkin]

Many thanks, Hoope, Delta, Haunted,

JerryB
for some reason I kept wanting to replace careened with careered. I agree with Hill. Think you could drop the third stanza altogether. That said it is as irresitible as all of your postings. They rightly never go unread. I cannot imagine not clicking on any of your postings.
cheers

Apropos looking for my postings, keep your eyes out for "The Waist-Line" which will have a well-deserved rant against April.

Hillwalker:
I particularly liked the line 'two ways to loop the afternoon air.'..... and must say I think it would have been better ending it at that point.

I just feel that last stanza is in danger of taking away the magic of the two preceding ones by 'stating the bleeding obvious' to quote Monty Python.

H

Brilliant observation! I only wish I had seen that on my own, but have now acted on. I would often have occasion to warn my students against "milking the metaphor" and as I myself posted earlier:




After the poem
comes the verbiage,
the slow leaking away
of inspiration,

[Lumiere]

I especially liked how you drew together willing and wheeling - so true, Prince.

[Delta40]

I think Hill made a good observation. Your poem has more impact and a better lingering effect.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Thanks Lumiere and Delta.

[_Shannon_]

This, this I can relate to!