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zoolane
11-04-2010, 03:15 PM
The Journey.

Hannah's day started normal. She woke to the radio two at six am. She smooth down her ruffle peach silk night shirt, headed for her state of art kitchen with red flower design on the walls and card boards. She open the cereal board door and pulled out bowl with special k with red berries. Sitting at the breakfast bar with bowl and fresh grounded coffee. After quickly washing up and putting all away. Hannah ran up stairs to her silver, chrome and bit glamour in her best room in house which is bathroom.

As she apply her make up, with tongs at ready for sandy curly hair. Hanging on the back of Oak wood style wardrobe is the famous pin stripes skirt suit and with cream satan blouse. Hannah leave for work at seven am in her black Astra. Blast from radio is Savage Garden. On the right of her is white van and left is coach bound for Victoria. Hannah decide to take slight detour from her usual route. The next little crossroad and she turned left into a country road. The hedges on both side of the country lane.

Hannah make error of judgement half down the bended narrow country road. She went straight over, through the hedge and landed in a ditch.

Hannah's Astra is mangle at front, with it bonnet down so it look like it had fallen of a lorry. The air bag save her head from collide with the window shield which pop out. Hannah's legs were trap under dashboard and one foot had slide under brake pad.

Her injuries are cut above left eye, broken left arm and little does Hannah know but spleen is bleed from inside. Hannah's hair is stick ed with red substance with it running down her face to her corner of her mouth. Claret liquid is flow out of her legs. Odd enough the radio is still play with Rhianna and Eminem new song.

Hannah waited patience for someone to come but no one came. The minutes turn in hours. She slowly die from her injuries. Hannah spleen bleed out into her stomach which killed her.

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hillwalker
11-04-2010, 06:37 PM
Ouch!

You don't pull your punches do you? I was expecting her to be saved eventually. But you seem to have no mercy for your characters.

This is different from some of your earlier stuff because you have inserted recognisable, contemporary references, like signposts to show us the character's way of life but also trivialise her existence. Even though she's bleeding to death in her ditch, at least she can listen to Rhianna and Eminem on her radio.

Dark humour. As someone said earlier - Ouch!

H

zoolane
11-05-2010, 04:16 AM
This was suppose whole different peice but as I was writing it. 1 paragraph didn't work property so that how I ended up writing about Hannah Journey.
Personal I think this peice is lazy writing on my part.