The Spiral Staircase

[zoolane]

The spiral staircase with gleam shine.
The steel cold as my heart on good day.
See who above you through steps.
The walls never change colour.
Has you move onward and upward
The ladies with dresses or skirts.
The high heels get struck in gaps.
The mens with heavy steps.
The childrens' with light and small steps.
Round and round the spiral staircase.

[hillwalker]

Nice poem, zoo. I sensed the monotony of the 'walls never change colour' as you watch different aspects of life passing above and below you on a circular treadmill of stairs.

Line 2 - is it meant to be 'cold as my heart'? I wonder why you compare your heart with a structure of steel and glass. Interesting image.

H

[zoolane]

The Master's Walk

The glint of the darkness.
Shadowed the shadow in the mist.
Mist entwined round cobble streets.
The cane strike in the fog.
The hat is tip to passers by.
Corner is were his whore waited.

[zoolane]

Nice poem, zoo. I sensed the monotony of the 'walls never change colour' as you watch different aspects of life passing above and below you on a circular treadmill of stairs.

Line 2 - is it meant to be 'cold as my heart'? I wonder why you compare your heart with a structure of steel and glass. Interesting image.

H

Well is line came from me personal as phrase I have do in past when life was look bleak. Plus I though sound right for poem.

[zoolane]

The Grave.

I am stamping on your grave.
I am dancing on your buried ground.
I am writing on your head stone.

Respect is what I gave you.
When you were alive.
You shown me less than that.

You tried to buy my affection.
I did not want your money.
I just wanted a friend.

[Haunted]

Spiral Staircase has some really concrete images, heels stuck in gaps, etc. Great description of a robotic existence — steel, same color walls, people walking round and round up the stairs.
The Master's Walk displays a dark atmosphere and a sordid ending that fits the subject.
The Grave is an emotionally charged conversation with the dead without any closure.
Three very nice pieces here zoo.

[zoolane]

Thank you Haunted for comment.

[Delta40]

The Masters Walk reminds me of Jack the Ripper. The spiral staircase is good because the voice is an onlooker on life and you express yourself well in The Grave.

[zoolane]

Thank you Delta. I will readed your and haunted tomorrow if I do not bogged down with chores or fell sleep.

[hillwalker]

'The Grave' is the most powerful of the 3.

It sounds like a personal comment on someone who let you down in the past, but written in such a way that we can all identify with it. Needing to say something to someone who is already dead.

It's so frustrating, and often leaves the survivor feeling guilty for something they didn't get around to saying even though the fault lay with the deceased.

H

[Jerrybaldy]

I liked 'The Masters walk' for its darkness. There wasn't a line wasted. All men are after all.... ;)
best wishes zoo
Jerry