Lydia

[Jack of Hearts]

Lydia I'm sorry
your daddy died when you were nine
Dead and gone here in the room
Haunting boyhood on the side

He never made it up to heaven
caught here in my grade three
Treat a sorrow, treat a girl
treat the person inbetween

Lydia I'm sorry
that the lesson left with time
now a woman's just for pleasure
unless I knew her at age nine

[jajdude]

keep it up jack, this and after the fall are interesting

[YesNo]

I didn't understand the message, but I enjoyed how this sounded.

[Dark Muse]

Wow I quite liked this, an interesting concept!

[hillwalker]

It's a poem open to a number of interpretations which is why it demands to be read a number of times.

The not-quite-exact rhyming (in lines 2 and 4 of each verse) adds to the sense of things being slightly out of kilter - all is not what it seems. Even the identity of the narrator is open to question (I'm playing with the thought it might be daddy?).

Thought-provoking indeed.

H

[Delta40]

I got the impression that Lydia is being addressed here both as child and adult so there is a switch in timeframes. Altogether, although not entirely clear, it echoes the pain of loss and displacement rather eloquently.

[Cunninglinguist]

This is a vey good poem.




Also, welcome to LitNet. Hope you enjoy us.

[Scheherazade]

I got the impression that Lydia is being addressed here both as child and adult so there is a switch in timeframes. Altogether, although not entirely clear, it echoes the pain of loss and displacement rather eloquently.And in the second stanza as a teenager as well maybe? "the person in between"?

Like Hill, I am curious about the identity of the persona; just an observer or someone involved? Though, for some reason, I get the feeling that it is a male.

I am not sure how I feel about the very last line, "unless I knew her at age nine"... Would "... you knew her..." sound better or should it say, "Had I not known her at the age nine"?

Really not sure how I feel about that line.

[Jerrybaldy]

Is that Dylan in your pic? If so I can read this like a Dylan lyric. If not I am buggered ;)
It is a mysterious poem but more than that, much more than that, it's a mysterious poem that really makes you want to unlock it's secrets. That is a massive difference.
Good job Jack.
Jerry

[Haunted]

Very engaging and even more disturbing. A lyrical name like Lydia but with a lot of jarring circumstances. Hope you'll shed some light.

[Jack of Hearts]

Happy birthday, poem.






J

[hillwalker]

... and full circle back to Dylan ('My Back Pages')?

Do you feel you have grown as a writer in the last 12 months? I'm sure new posters on LitNet, nervous of their first exposure, would be interested to find out where you're at now compared to a year ago.

H

[Jack of Hearts]

That's hard to say, hill. Something's different, for sure. But whether it's growth or just acceptance of one's own level of mediocrity is the question.

For instance, none of the poems this writer has made are in any kind of structure. A lot of people wouldn't even call them poems. Mostly, they seem to be not too liked around here, which is a certain kind of feedback on how good a job you're doing.

But whatever the case, in poetry this writer has become more 'himself.' It's a subjective question whether that's good or bad. But nobody wants to be kidding themselves.

At any rate, Jack of Hearts still does not understand most poetry.






J

[hillwalker]

'Not understanding' poetry is no barrier to writing it. And I believe you have a modest following on this site so your efforts have not gone unnoticed. Here's to the next 12 months...

H