After the Fall

[Jack of Hearts]

Of all my young and foolish tries and
each of those have wounded me
there was a monarch justly placed
by virtue of capacity

my shaking self dared to love
where no young lady satiates
my unsure self dared to love
time herself in moments of
the illusion of a sturdy house on
reality of shifting sands

but time was cruel and turned her cheek
taking things I thought were mine
everything I thought was me
were leaves upon the flow of time

She took the summer, took the snow
Broke all value I could know
She switched my standing, stole my face
and twists the meaning of a phrase

I loved her for her certainty
She left me like an easy sigh
She leaves me like an easy sigh
And hurts a question
Who am I?

[PrinceMyshkin]

There's an admirable confidence in your lines and lin-breaks and I thought


"And hurts a question"

a most interesting way to put that observation.

[papa_hemingway]

I like it, how it's absolutely stripped down to the fundamentals. I wish I had your confidence with words.

[Delta40]

I particularly like the second stanza. I'm not sure if the rhyming effect works completely here, since it is dotted throughout and I think rather overpowered the beautiful lines you wrote.

You definitely have confidence with words!