A couple of sections from a much larger poem

[blainebeckner]

III.

I have seen sorrow,
It dwells in the corner of my eye,
That sad twinkle of indecision
that yearns to blend truth and lie
into final Right.

I have felt evil,
It swells in the hearts of men,
Left untamed it festers into a word
that we are helpless to defend.

The word all men know,
for the father must know the son.
A child born from dying lips,
an immortal Beast, from mortal sprung!

IV

Justice slowly drips from sight,
an ancient echo grumbles again,
like the deep moan of a solemn hymn,
or distant thunder heard at night.

Listen! It grows like fire in a bed of leaves.
What is it again that it says
to soothe the righteous,
when millions starve,
and children die by the hands of men?
That settling verse, contentment carved,
“Now the God of peace be with you all. Amen.”

[hillwalker]

I particularly liked the second stanza of IV and believe it could stand as a single poem with the insertion of a little more background.

III I feel is rather pretentious - a number of grand-sounding expressions that don't really make a lot of sense (especially that third verse).

H

[Delta40]

Justice slowly drips from sight! how wonderful! I really enjoy your poetry blaine.

[PrinceMyshkin]

On the whole, I agree with the previous two responders, but dissent from Hillwalker re III 3, at very least because of the line:


A child born from dying lips

which, while I don't understand its literal meaning, is very thought-provoking.

[Delta40]

I often read contemporary poetry which has a more traditional 'sound' and I wonder why it is called pretentious. Is it because of the style itself?

[blainebeckner]

Thank you all so much for your input! Hillwalker, maybe I could explain to you what I was trying to say in III stanza? The "sorrow" is the difficulty of trying to blend faith into a harmonious relationship with education, knowledge and experience. In other words trying to "blend truth and lie into final right" the second verse claims that evil is not caused by a certain being, such as the devil, but evil is a man made idea and "festers" into the form of the devil, which we are helpless to defend against because we tend to place blame on a higher power, especially when it is something terrible. the third verse continues with this theme and the "word all men know" is the Devil or any other personification of evil. The "father" of this idea is man, so he must know his son, the "child born from dying lips" simply means that the idea of the devil as an immortal being was born from a mortal mouth, "an immortal beast, from mortal sprung!" I really hope this helps, let me know if you have any questions! thank you all again!

-Blaine

[hillwalker]

Thanks for the explanation - all has become clear.

As for the 'pretension' in III - the line Prince picks out is indeed one to savour - it was the overall style of the verse that left me cold.

I'm not a fan of platitudes like 'for the father must know the son' - it sounds rather grand, quite subtle even, but is neither.

H