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Rmort
10-30-2010, 11:59 PM
Morning Thoughts


As I rest my chin on the peeling windowpane
To look upon the scattered trees
And the chirping birds,
I wonder what it feels like to sit atop the highest branch,
On the broadest tree.
It must feel so prevalent and natural
Moving so delicately, almost rhythmically,
To the slightest breezes.
The aloof limbs seem almost oblivious
To the pandemonium of our world.

I notice the encroaching sun
Reflecting off a droplet of dew on a Maple leaf.
The distant glint is just another reminder
Of the allure which nature bears.

That 5:30 A.M brisk, dewy air
Grazes my skin as the dreary, cobalt sky
Transforms to a fulgid, orange-flavored hilarity,
Which we call day.

But as time slips away,
Life grabs me and I must wait for another chance,
On another morning,
In another place,
To sit and think again.

JBI
10-31-2010, 12:04 AM
For thoughts, these seem quite opinionated. perhaps remove some of the I from the poem, and let the poem run like thoughts, or else, change the title, as it is not fitting. Just a suggestion, oh, and read before posting next time.

Rmort
10-31-2010, 12:42 AM
ok...

hillwalker
10-31-2010, 01:29 PM
There are quite some original lines in this poem - and you do a fine job of depicting the exhiliration of dawn almost through the eyes of a bird.

I particularly enjoyed the 3rd verse - not so much 'fulgid' - but that 'orange-flavored hilarity' is an inspirational phrase.

I'm not sure what the 'read before posting' in the previous response is referring to -the only grammatical flaw I have been able to spot is that final line in verse 1 - it would be more accurate to write

oblivious
Of the pandemonium of our world

H

Jerrybaldy
10-31-2010, 06:34 PM
Hi Rmort
I too have no idea what 'read before posting' referred to. Your poem caught my imagination and attention within the first few lines and I happily continued on.
The whole thing captured a precious moment in time we rarely have time to capture and you captured that yourself in the poems end.
cheers
Jerry

Delta40
10-31-2010, 06:55 PM
They feel like thoughts to me. Didn't read an 'I reckon...' there. Nicely captured.

Haunted
11-01-2010, 01:13 AM
Those who say things like read before posting next time should think before posting next time....

Back to the poem. It's a lovely picture filtered through your mind, I particularly like the ending. Good job and welcome.

Cunninglinguist
11-02-2010, 12:48 PM
Good stuff :thumbsup: and welcome to LitNet.:biggrin5:

Rmort
11-04-2010, 09:53 PM
Thanks everyone =]