21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES

[Biggus]

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 160

A man of words and not of deeds
Sounds like a politician to me

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 161

Boys and girls come out to play,
The moon does shine as bright as day;
They come with a rug and a packet of three
They come prepared to play carnally

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 162

I do not like thee, Doctor Fell,
The reason why I can now tell;
I only see you when I feel unwell
And you’ll sound my death knell

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 163

Wash on Monday,
Iron on Tuesday,
Bake on Wednesday,
Brew on Thursday,
Churn on Friday,
Mend on Saturday,
Go to meeting on Sunday.
And all on minimum wage
These polish maids are brilliant

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 164

There was an old woman of Leeds
Who spent all her time in good deeds;
until she moved to Lancashire

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 165

Robert Barnes, fellow fine,
Can you shoe this horse of mine?
No, good sir, that I can’t,
Why ever not, fellow fine?
Primarily because I’m an estate agent called Mike
But mainly because that’s a push bike

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 166

Pussy cat Mole
Jumped over a coal,
And in her best petticoat
Burnt a great hole.
And that’s genetic modification for you

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 167

Once I saw a little bird
Come hop, hop, hop;
So I cried: "Little bird,
Will you stop, stop, stop?"
But it didn’t stop
So I shot the little bastard

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 168

Multiplication is vexation,
Division is as bad;
And that’s why they invented the calculator

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 169

Molly, my sister,
And I fell out,
And what do you think
It was all about?

She loved coffee
And I loved tea,
And that was the reason
We couldn't agree!

If you believe that
Then more fool you
She was actually screwing
My husband Hugh

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 170

Little Polly Flinders
Sat down upon cinders,
Cinderella and Polly
Are naughty little girls aren’t they?

[Delta40]

#169 is my favourite. Lovely wit. I was expecting to see more www oriented lines in 21st century nursery rhymes

Diddly Detty
Little Etty Maid
She keeps secrets I'm afraid
Some in her pocket
Some up her sleeves
But you can find out all about them on Facebook

[Maryd.]

Oh I love the work you put into your writing... Well done sir.

[zoolane]

My favourite is #169 is great so true. It great wit and sarcasm it the verses.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Why doesn't Hugh
stick to Sue
instead of screwing
you-know-who?

[Biggus]

Thank you all.

Thanks Delta - Thats a good idea I will give it some thought for the next batch.

Thanks Mary I'm glad you liked them

169 is my favourite as well Zoolane, thank you.

And thanks Myskin I'm pleased they amused Hugh

[Haunted]

Biggus, these are so witty and delightful — well, except for the one about the poor birdie, tell me it aint true and it wasn't shot!! Anway #165 totally cracked me up, and the double entendre in #168 is so clever.

[Biggus]

Thanks Haunted.
And dont worry about the birdie they used a stunt double.