Feast

[Jerrybaldy]

His blue lips suckled her nipple ,
with instinctive rhythm
until, for fun, she withdrew
to watch him suck thin air.
Years later, he sits in the office,
day by day, his palid blue eyes
set alight by the screen
that confronts him,
sucking on a deep blue biro,
ink on his lips, amusing his colleagues.
He died on the printer
overweight, gasping
the thin office air,
his pointed finger
requesting two copies, A5.
His widow missed badly
his fat arse sat on the sofa,
his crumbs on the carpet,
his sweaty fumbling in bed
and the odd moment in passing
where she felt that
she was needed.
She bought a weeping mongrel
who sat on the sofa
in the impression he had left
whilst changing channels.
Sure, he was grateful
for his bowl of meaty jelly
but for all his wagging
he never filled that hole.
Tonight, dear Patch, is shown the door
to the damp unwanting street.
He pads the pavement
one ear cocked,
and finds a lampost,
a place to piss.
The light at the top
enters my bathroom window,
as I stare at the mirror
that dares me.
It splits my face
and I am unsure, which side
I prefer.
Closeted in duvet,
my wife awaits my return,
wondering if I will talk
or blissfully fall asleep.
Beneath the mattress,
bedbugs wonder, if they will
feast on semen tonight.

[Haunted]

This is an exceptional poem Jerry, some really sad fragments, all coming back full circle.

[Delta40]

Jerry. I am at work stuffing my face on bureaucratic residue for lunch and I read this!

Nearly choked on a balance sheet. I think I will re-read it Friday night when I've got my woolie slippers on

x

[PrinceMyshkin]

Jerry? This is, like, SO GOOD! So honest, so brave, so empathetic!

[Delta40]

You have an ability to shine a poetic light on one picture and then broaden the view till it covers a multitude of existences and exciting images, only to slowly narrow the scope back down to a singular vision.

[Maryd.]

Um, er, what Prince said...:blush:

[Jerrybaldy]

Thanks regular readers.
If it wasn't for you few and a few others my postings would go uncommented. Maybe we are returning to the lit net of its beginnings.
Anyways I enjoyed writing this one and I am very happy that you enjoyed reading.
cheers
Jerry
PS MaryD what's with the embarrassed face? Didnt think I was too far out there :P

[Maryd.]

No... I just get shy... Hee hee

[Haunted]

it almost sounds sad...........

[zoolane]

It very honest it how person can miss someone and replace with animal.

[Delta40]

Forget the dog curled up in an *** print - what about the dastardly semen effect!

This is NOT art, I'm sure

[hillwalker]

I can sense some of time's linearity from the nipple to the biro, from the photocopier and sofa to the abandoned dog.
I was just left wondering who the 'I' is towards the end - and how he fits in with all that has gone before.

But as a series of observations, it's a great poem.

H

[_Shannon_]

The first part is way awesome. Like way, way awesome. Personally, not a big fan after the shift to first person. It's confusing who "I" is and how he relates to the rest of the poem. And the whole semen thing--well it actually detracts from the poem's value, in my opinion. It feels like it's only purpose in the poem is to be shocking.

[Hawkman]

I too thought that this was a well observed poem. Actually I didn't have a problem with the transition to the first person narration. It enhances the observational quality of a disinterested third party describing the life of a neigbour. However, I do weary of gratuitous scatological inclusions. Besides, bedbugs are haemovores aren't they? Unless your narrator has a serious medical problem I think it likely that the answer to the question is in the negative.

[Jerrybaldy]

haunted - how do you mean?
zoo- thanks, think maybe thats all pets purpose.
delta -
This is NOT art, I'm sure - and I'm not an artist :)
Hill - The 'I' was me and was the start of the poem, as a thought looking into the bathroom mirror in the dark. I then worked backwards to create one of the infinite chains all around. So I only fitted in as another link.
Shannon. Thanks for commenting. My time on here has taught me that somebody else will love the second half best:) I didnt see the semen thing as shocking though, just a way of ending the poems links down to the microscopic. Surely in these times, semen is somewhat less than shocking? Having said that I think shock is a very useful tool, just didnt think I was using it here. Thanks again.
Hawk, trust you to know the diet of a bedbug, you bugger. I understood they liked a bit of deadskin and bodily fluid.
thanks for messing up my seemingly controversial ending :)

[Haunted]

the second comment is inconsequential, just responding to your beginnings comment...
please don't mind me in my moments of incoherence...