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Thomkins
10-27-2010, 10:43 AM
„Your fire flames ever-shining
Listen to us, we keep you burning
In the beginning we tried to warn you
Consecrated water forever doze you
Were you to drink from that stream
Let go of your watery dream! „

All the things they whisper, always said,
Keep disturbing, running through my head,
I can try to pretend, I can try to forget,
It drives me mad, never leaves my head!

They know nothing, but all about us,
They say don't love, neither to trust,
Just like everybody else does,
I’m a human and I’m needed to be loved!

First they said you loved me,
Confuseingly, to leave you be,
By the line of future long’ to reed,
Into what we blossom, they can never see!

Constantly shrilling, crying for regard,
Searing boredom, glittering mirage,
If they hurt you, they hurt me too,
Tearing us apart will never get them through!

A single teardrop, lastly revolting,
Enough now, I want no more voices!
First they were helpful, now just blasphemy,
As a conclusion, fear is the enemy!

„My friend, what have you done?
Other aid in need, there were none!
We saved you, scraped you up from emptiness!
Ungrateful son, should have stayed in depth!
Without us you would be left for dead!
Part us, become blind and deaf!”

Ah, at last silence…

PrinceMyshkin
10-27-2010, 03:19 PM
I could feel the energy in this, and the earnest reach for meaning but I have to confess I was unclear as to the situation. Best wishes.

Jerrybaldy
10-28-2010, 08:59 PM
I can see craft in your writing, but like Prince, I have no idea what you are writing of. Include clues, if you want your audience to know. I got an impression of religion.
cheers
jerry

Thomkins
10-29-2010, 03:58 PM
Thanx for commenting. I'm sorry, obviously it's a trashy poem if you don't understand it. I hope the next one, will be better. Originally it was a letter, probably that's why it's not easy to interpret for other than the recipient. Sorry fellas...:skep:

Jerrybaldy
10-29-2010, 04:48 PM
Hey, don't be so hard on yourself, two people not understanding it doesn't make it trashy.
cheers
Jerry