The Two Way Door.

[zoolane]

The Two Way Door.

I live in old Victorian house on top of hill and lovely area of Somerset.
I have restored to form glamour features. That very top of house
there attic. The attic is full misted dust, with darken, slightly rotten wood but painted black seem bit strange. I getting feel that I am not welcome.
I get chilled very time I in attic that run down spine and hair back of neck stand up.

Their door in far left of attic. It being locked since I moved in about year ago. As far I can tell it does not lead anywhere because their no impression of false wall. Which every odd in my opinion. In the attic, the previous owners, must of left in hurry because books and photographshave left behind. Curiously the sometime I think heard someone called me.

One winter evening. My investigation nature get better of me and I head for stairs lead to attic. The some photographs most of children's', presumably aunts', uncles', grandparents' and cousins. All are very tradition with keep of that era. I turn to look at some books but instead I knock them over. Suddenly under a dustly satan smooth red cloth. Is a Oak chest with massive padlock.

''HM how I suppose that open'' I said out loud like anyone going answer back.

Faint whisper is still here. I sure it come in the direction of door. I have to go the cupboard under the stairs and to the crow bar. After disregard more or less every item out of cupboard. I finally find the crowbar and in place where I look first. So alarm with my tool. I marched all way back to top of house to eerie attic.

I glance out of the window from the skylight and storm has just began with crash and bang. Lighten strike throught black sky and thunderous rain hitting the roof. Pitting and patting is sound.The light bulb flicked from time to time. Crack open the padlock with my fifth go.

The lid has hit floor with thud, I am positive that saw something surge into
the air. As I delve into the chest with excitement with what I might find. It more photographs but with objects with them. Like a chair, with imprinted someone sit on it but yet here not person photo. Few books with strange titles, I think in Latin but also were weird look robes with signs embroiled on them. The robes are black velvet type material.

There is going be 2ND part later on today. But now I have to check my dinner.

[zoolane]

I take everything out of the chest and to surprise there look to be secret drawer. It took about 5 minutes to open it. I used the crowbar again. Gold key was sole item in drawer. The 2 letter were engrave on gold ''M.V''. '' I wonder if could be initials to owner of the chest'' I whisper. The voice from far I think is get little loud. BANG a branch crash on
to skylight. I jumped about 2 foot in air with fright.

The key was on floor next to me but now it from of door. I slowly took steps toward the door with feel of worry but I must know what behind the door. I pick up the key. I went put in lock but it float out of my hand and guiled itself. If by magic key turn without me even touch it. I step back it fear.

The door opened inward. Now I find quickly walked toward to see what inside.
I peek my head in and saw. The sky was deep lavender with clouds of white marshmallows float. The landscape is divide. The hills is rich neat green like new leafs on the trees. The grass is pale mostly sweet green you will never see in your lifetime. The ocean is deep sapphire colour with white ripple of waves.The beach is champagne colour and oyster rocks. Round the door frame was wild flowers. Every colour would be imagine and maybe that could not.

Nervously I decide to go into visit vivid landscape.

[hillwalker]

You seem to be enjoying writing this - but not enough to do without your dinner!

The descriptions, as in most of your work, are very intense - especially the final section of part two - as if you are painting with words. But the plot itself is a little slow to gather pace - the tension one would expect from a mystery is not really there.

Perhaps there are too many distractions in Part 1 - you mention the locked door, then we learn about some old photographs, a pile of books, the hidden chest, strange voices, the storm outside, the sensation that something has escaped from the box, more photographs and various robes, a secret drawer and a finally a key!

And then we return to the door, which is the focal point of the story I imagine. For a short story you need to keep things a little simpler. You do a good job of creating a creepy atmosphere but the menacing mood never quite reaches a peak of intensity because there's always another surprise around the next corner. A bit like a ride on a ghost train - if it goes on and on and on then eventually nothing seems scary any more.

But we have now reached a very interesting point in the story so I can't wait to see what happens next.

H

[zoolane]

The soft grass cresting my bare feet and tickle my ankles. The sky changed
colour slight with hint amber gentle push itself to other side. I pace myself
slowly take in every part of serene atmosphere in. I remove my nightie and
decide to take dip in warm luxury sea with waves washing over me.

I am so relax and swimming. Under the sea in emerald colour has
exclaim it. Before I know the sea has turn in rage storm.
I manage to make back to beach and dresser myself again. Flame has
engulfed the sky with apricot and golden. Blue light comes toward
me with knife inside try to stab me.

Before my eyes a Lady appear it from of me and in these velvet robe that I found. She has blackness hair I have ever seem. Her smile is perfect with teeth look like pearl. Her skin is clear has snow.

She spoke with noble but kindest voice.

She said ''if want to stay in tranquil place then, I will exchange something for it''.

I said '' That I would loves to stay in serene place but what the exchange?''

She said '' Your body or soul''.

I said '' my soul, you can have''

She said '' Magus Veneficus A capite ad calcem Jo to Magus Veneficus.''

I felt something push it way out of body with sand glowing and enter the witch. I felt cold and shiver but in was humid.

She whisper '' You can could visit any time, now gave I have your soul''.

I turn to leave and heard loud noise.

But she changed into to giant red person with horns and tails.
I think she satan daughter, she is breath fire.
I ran toward the door but it was to late. I was setting light
with her blaze of tangerine. I am dead and now in my serene place.

[hillwalker]

Mhmm. That's quite some closing paragraph.

I'm impressed with your Latin (?) incantation - it sounds very threatening. A touch of the Harry Potters, mixed with Dr Faustus. You certainly must have had 3 Weetabix for breakfast this morning.

H

[zoolane]

Mhmm. That's quite some closing paragraph.

I'm impressed with your Latin (?) incantation - it sounds very threatening. A touch of the Harry Potters, mixed with Dr Faustus. You certainly must have had 3 Weetabix for breakfast this morning.

H

Nope it was cornflakes this morning

Latin means:Magical Witch From head to heel it best do at short notice I was half watch 'Surf Up' early on five with kids.

[hillwalker]

I thought you had been catching up on some of the Harry Potter fanfiction sites!