I'm Comming, Too.

[TomKohlsi]

Hey everyone! This is something I wrote a couple of months ago so I thought I'd see what you guys thought of it. I know it's usually advisable to stay away from rhyming, but I wanted to for this poem because, in My opinion, it adds to the quick pace. Anyway, I'd love to know what you all think!


I'm comming


I loved your eyes.
I liked your style.
Young but wise.
A cryptic smile.
You said hello.
I didn’t reply.
But you’re so mellow,
And I‘m so shy.
I studied you,
You startled me.
You knew too,
We’re meant to be.
Whenever we meet.
Electric fire.
Looked at our feet,
Gaze went higher.
Your blushing lips,
Your dazzling teeth.
Your finger tips,
On bridal wreath.
Love defeats death,
There is no match.
Your last breath
Was no dispatch.
I know it’s strange,
I still hear you.
Death is no change,
I’m coming too..……

[Lunaticpoet]

I liked this poem, it seems heartfelt and there was something melancholic about it which made me feel sad. Being able to convey emotion through your words is a good thing, of course.

I agree that the rhyme adds to the rhythm and fast pace of your poem.

I would say it is a very simple and short poem which actually portrays a long and complex, eternal love.

Well done, keep writing. :smile5: