Awareness

[Twilight*Lover]

I stare at the waves as they crash onto the rocks below me,
I shut my eyes and feel the wind caress my skin,
I smell nothing but the brine of the sea,
I hear the seagulls squawking,
My senses reach their peak as I open my eyes,
And jump.

I crash into the rocks with the waves,
Powered by the harsh wind,
Unable to see anything but the black water surrounding me,
So dark I can’t even see it,
Unable to smell because of the water in my lungs,
Unable to breathe in,
All I hear is the pounding in my ears,

So loud I can’t even hear it.

[hillwalker]

I particularly like the way you describe the individual senses closing down one by one by the end, and in the exact same order as you describe each one becoming enhanced in the first stanza.

H

[Jerrybaldy]

Your words took me there. Having read Hill's comment it is even more impressive for its synergy.
keep writing, whilst dreaming of sleeping.
cheers
Jerry

[tailor STATELY]

Well written.


I stare at the waves as they crash onto the rocks below me,
I shut my eyes and feel the wind caress my skin,
I smell nothing but the brine of the sea,
I hear the seagulls squawking,
My senses reach their peak as I open my eyes,
And jump.

Enjoyed your poem very much. The above evoked a time and place I recollect all too frequently; only "jumping" for me was in the metaphorical sense.

And welcome to the forums !

Sincerely,
tailor STATELY

[Twilight*Lover]

Thankyou for the positive comments! :)