The Home.

[zoolane]

The Home.

Little girl is alone in the house, that I called home and a smell is linger in the house. I has not had decent square meal for weeks or bath. The letters on doormat are piles up. The phone keep ringing, I think it the monster because what my mum told mr. I have not heard from my mother few days. I have not got dad but I have got lots uncles'.

All the rooms had their curtains close so was dark most of time. With a torch she search the kitchen for any scrape of food which hasn't got mould on. I found slice of bread and some spreadable cheese. I found a some Robin sons orange but not lot. I save the electricity for favourite TV show which 'Number Jacks'. I sat with teddy on sofa but really I want my mum to give me a cuddle and bedtime story. Slowly I drift off to sleep, alone and cold. With only my teddy for comfort.

I won't use bathroom property. The stench is get worst by day.
I started to think that my mum will never come back.
I miss her friends and school. Their water come through the ceiling
in sitting room. I had to adventure up stairs to the bathroom.
Push the door open with that I see my mum in bath.
With water overflow and red come from her wrists.
Her hair was medium length, is stick to her face and the colour from her
skin has drained away.

[hillwalker]

This is a nightmarish picture - with every detail authentically drawn through the unjudgemental eyes of a child.

It's the kind of writing that makes you want to turn your eyes away, yet also demands you read on right to the end. And again so like a child to notice her mother's hair first rather than what is already obvious to the reader. Difficult but compelling.

H

[Delta40]

I think your unique use of the english language is especially appropriate here. Its the voice of a child living in such abject circumstances. I would suggest you exchange 'she' for 'I' on this piece Zoo