untitled poem

[NikolaiI]

breath, raise
crest of a wave
breath, deeper
onward away
spin once
land, crash
into the sweet round ocean
-
qi
-
perfect picture

[Delta40]

Mmm. I imagined running toward the water and hitting the tide and then splashing under the water

[NikolaiI]

Thanks Delta :)

[PrinceMyshkin]

I wasn't familiar with and couldn't find a definition of "spince". Is it a typo, or something you'd care to explain?

I admire the energy and spareness of this.

[Haunted]

Wonderful action imageries, I feel the exhilaration of the plunge just reading it. "Sweet round ocean" clinches it for me.

[NikolaiI]

That was a typo, I thought I'd read it over but I must have missed it.

Thanks Haunted.

[Pensive]

Melikes the rhythm! :)
Why keep it untitled, btw?

[NikolaiI]

Because my titles always seem to confuse people.. :p

Thanks Pensive

[tailor STATELY]

Very beautiful.

Deeper than I imagined on subsequent readings.

Had to look up "qi" in wikipedia and found a nugget:
The essence of the water-qi becomes the moon.
—Huai-nan-zi,

Sincerely,
tailor STATELY

[PrinceMyshkin]

Bump.

[NikolaiI]

Thank you here, too, Tailor. I really appreciate your comments.

I hadn't even heard of the Huai-nan-zi, shows what I know :)

Thank you here, too, for the bump, Prince :D