Of Sonnets, Couplets, Rhyme, and Trees

[tailor STATELY]

~~~~~Thoughts on Poetry~~~~~
Sometimes prose is a rose is a rose
and poems flowery dee-dum, dee-dum-dees
But the verse I love above all the rest
Is one that sets one's spirit free
Free to explore beyond one's sensibilities
.
.
.

~~Of Sonnets, Couplets, Rhyme, and Trees~~

Write first of the trees, their lives, their loves
their philosophies
Then dare to compose with stricture, or none

Parse each verse, testing every line
Be elegant, eloquent with your words
Loquacious if you desire

Write for yourself, for your love, again for the trees
Lastly, ever lastly, for the critique
Let eternity bear the final test
of whether you've wasted your time, or no, on your tome

And then maybe rhyme
.
.
.




~~~Elf~~~
Futile, it seemed, my errand casting for sign
This dingle of tree and fern obscurity
Brought me to all but cry in anguished resign
Visions of visceral haste still mocking me
O my sweet færie maid, tarried err too long
By sweet-water's falls to a hippogriff fell
That nightmarish beast with brazen claw of song
As loath a beast this side of a demon's hell
Lo ! a feather, another; there ! a print by
Clearly marking the way to perdition's den
Then in a tangle of pipal trees I spied
The hippogriff gorging on foul carrion
Beast roused from its lair with a perfervid roar
Thrice I struck with shafts; fallen, fell beast no more

:tailor STATELY

[Delta40]

Bravo Tailor! I loved the wit of the first poem, the wisdom of the second and particularly the magical quality of the third.

Thank you

[Haunted]

To me it reads as though one poem prepares for the next one, and together, I think you created an interesting trilogy.

[hillwalker]

I would have to say the first two work much better that the sonnet. Possibly because the 11-syllables per line read a little awkwardly - and even more probably because I'm not a huge fan of fantasy.

H

[tailor STATELY]

Delta40 - Wow. Wit, wisdom, and magic - high praise. Thank you !

Haunted - Thank you. Very observant. Yes, it was meant as a trilogy of thought.

hillwalker - LOL. The "sonnet" was intended to be a farce, though I love fantasy pieces. I've had the idea for the "sonnet" for a long time, and finally the second poem led to the first - finally pulling the trigger for the third in a frenzy (for me).

I've had thoughts of rebelliousness regarding "stricture" and "structure" and thought I'd experiment some more (read: play) - this time with the sonnet form because of its rigidity.

'Elf' in German means 'eleven', thus the characterization was set, with another piece of the puzzle from the movie wikipedia: "This Is Spinal Tap" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/This_Is_Spinal_Tap).

Lines from the movie that influenced me (from IMDb) (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0088258/quotes):


Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven.

And thus, my sonnet has eleven syllables, and however awkward some might read it, mine is one better. Funny. For some warped reason I have no problem reading the extra syllable... go figger.

The "sonnet" came off better than initially conceived; a piece constructed in binary form - one simplistic version:

a - 01100110011
b - 00110110110
and so on, in a mad (read: boring) sonnet-structured way that I thought would be way over the top.

Thank you all.

[NikolaiI]

I think it's really beautiful, and I really love the sonnet! :)

thanks for sharing.

[tailor STATELY]

Thank you NikolaiI.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I especially liked the 2nd of these but, over all, the sense of a man offering wisdom and his own obvious pleasure.

[Hawkman]

Why stop at 11 when you could go up, way up, up, all the way to 12! Oh happy hexameter :D there are a few smiles and a chuckle or two hidden in this thread.

Live long and prosper - H

[Jerrybaldy]

When faced with a compilation it is an immediate temptation to chose a favourite. I enjoyed them all I am going to resist.
cheers
Jerry.
p.s The first one.

[tailor STATELY]

PrinceMyshkin - Well, a layman's wisdom anyway.

Hawkman - Glad you found some humour in this thread. I was sore to explain some of my fancy at the start, but held off until appropriate.

Jerrybaldy - LOL, yes - I see your point.

Thank you all for your comments.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY