Season of Fall

[kittypaws]

Today was a day to run
Through the fading summer’s field
Of tall grasses bleached,
That pale, ash tone blonde,
From the golden rays of the sun.

Nature’s decadent display
Of a glorious dress
Seizes the reds,
Yellows and various hues
Against a canvas of blue.

The chipmunks, squirrels
And wood fairies
Scatter to and fro;
Hiding winter’s endurance,
In secret lairs among
The rustle of leaves.

The Indian fall air
Fills your lungs;
As the crisp coolness
Gives birth
To a new season.

To settle under a tree,
And become one
With the sounds
Sights and season of fall;
Until the shadows grow long.

Time is now
To be moving on.

kittypaws

[hillwalker]

This is marvellous - you have painted a beautiful picture using the hues of autumn so effectively. Definitely one of your best.

H

[Hawkman]

This is an evocative, seasonal poem, kitty with strong imagery. I like it a lot but I would like to make a suggestion or two which might improve it.

In S1 I would be inclined to tickle the line breakes and punctuation a little. eg:

"Today was a day to run
Through the fading summer’s
Fields of tall grasses,
bleached that pale, ash-tone blonde
From the golden rays of the sun."

S4 L1: It's meaning is ambiguous. Is Indian Fall a place or is the air Indian? (as I'm not sure if India has a fall in an Autumnal sense, at least as recognised in the Northern hemisphere). There is an expression of, 'Indian Summer', used to describe and unusually warm Autumn but I've not heard, 'Indian fall' used in the same sense.

The final two lines are really unecessary and read a little awkwardly, so you could safely cut them.

but these are minor quibbles about a very pleasing read.

Live long and prosper. H

[Delta40]

I particularly like this poem Kitty because each stanza is a stand alone poem! very descriptive and fulfilling.

[kittypaws]

H ~ thank you very much...this is what happens when i take my time and work on my writes before sending them public. Also many of the things I have learned here at Lit Net have been very helpfull.

smiles

[kittypaws]

Hawk ~ are you and H taking turns? LOL! Just joking! I do like your suggestions. In regards to Indian fall let's chalk it up to poetic licenses!

Thank you for your read and comments!

Kittypaws

[kittypaws]

Delta ~ You are very kind!

Thank you for your wonderful comment!

Kittypaws