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Delta40
10-17-2010, 06:12 PM
While shots of steam
hiss through my iron
I crease my pants
while pressed to write a story.

As shampoo suds
gurgle down the plughole
Poems I have read
give me a final rinse.

The spontaneity of imagination
is like cutting my leg shaving.
I watch poetic streams
drain away.

I sit here, damp, glistening
a towel dried maternal Buddha.
A turban of words
is contained in my head.

Haunted
10-17-2010, 07:08 PM
This sure is a morning to remember. The charm of the poem is that these activities are so down to earth. So I wonder if the Budda image is a distraction. I shuffled it a little bit in my head:

While shots of steam
hiss through my iron
I think about your story.

As shampoo suds
gurgle down the plughole
poems give me a final rinse.

My heart skips a beat
and I cut my leg shaving
thanks to the power of verse.

Delta40
10-17-2010, 07:10 PM
Thanks Haunted. I went back and edited it.

Haunted
10-17-2010, 07:15 PM
The edit is quite different. It seems to me you packed more in the shorter version than this one.

Jerrybaldy
10-17-2010, 07:20 PM
How I love the Deltaesque. Love your turban of words.

Delta40
10-17-2010, 08:10 PM
well Jerry, I was thinking how silly I would look on webcam in a towel and head wrap....but it was enough to wring a poem out of me before I left for work.

Haunted thanks for your feedback. I think the edited version is better.

Jerrybaldy
10-17-2010, 08:13 PM
The turban head wrap is the look of a Godess. Honest Delta.

Maryd.
10-17-2010, 08:14 PM
Did you manage to produce another good one.. Go Delta.

Delta40
10-17-2010, 08:22 PM
Did you manage to produce another good one.. Go Delta.

Maryd it will be a great day when you change the mood of your avatar and grace us with your wonderful poetry... ((((hugs))))

Maryd.
10-17-2010, 08:25 PM
Maryd it will be a great day when you change the mood of your avatar and grace us with your wonderful poetry... ((((hugs))))

One day angel.... One day.

hillwalker
10-18-2010, 05:40 AM
This is a wonderful little poem, almost throwaway in how you compare the mundane activities of getting ready with the creative process.

But there's lots of clever wordplay - the 'pressed' by the iron and by your muse stands out, as well as the originality of the 'rinse' and 'streams' of poetic consciousness.

I'm also with jerry on that 'turban' motif. Who needs a webcam when we can see you clearly enough through your writing?

H