The Junker

[Captain Pike]

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[alcala0001]

It's a good read, but I was secretly hoping he'd conquer the world with his trumpet and start a modern brass revival. But your story was good too! lol

[hillwalker]

This draws a very touching picture of growing up - the pressures of conforming with one's peers weighed against family values and traditions.

But I felt the story had reached such a pivotal point where the boy sees the damaged thread in the case that it would surely provide an opening for the perfect finish - a subtle note of family ties being everlasting regardless of how frayed they might be.

I felt the story's impact diminished when you changed horses in order to describe the father's point of view; and the happy-ever-after ending made it even less believeable.

Perhaps there are two separate stories here struggling to be heard. But in my opinion the first is by far the better of the two.

H

[Captain Pike]

[...] I felt the story's impact diminished when you changed horses in order to describe the father's point of view; and the happy-ever-after ending made it even less believeable.

Perhaps there are two separate stories here struggling to be heard. But in my opinion the first is by far the better of the two.



I hear this.
[And then he added... after some reflection]
it's the Frank feedback that I think is the most valuable. I thank you both for telling the truth.
Like playing chess: I learned more from surviving the games I lost then relishing in the victories!

[Delta40]

I got a little confused as the tale transformed. The father seemed to just pop in there in the middle of a good read. I liked the bullying scene and the conflict of family ties and peer group pressure.