alcala0001
10-14-2010, 05:17 PM
She sent me a picture today. I can't go more than a few minutes without sneaking a peek at it. She claims she just pointed and clicked it, but it's perfect - a renaissance master would give his right hand to paint her in oils. It's hard to tell if she is really the most gorgeous thing in the world, or if it just seems like it to me. Other pictures she has sent me are much more revealing, but this picture, her dark shiny hair spilling around her as she lays on a dark blue satin pillow, pouting at me with those full, pink lips, is by far my favorite. Her eyes - I can never quite make out what color they are. Sometimes they look pale blue-grey, but here they look like a watery hazel. She is flawless. I wonder if she ever gets tired of me telling her how perfect and beautiful she is to me. Do I smother her? God I hope not.
I enjoy the few minutes (sometimes hours) that I get to chat with her each day. On days that I don't talk to her, it feels like there's something missing. In real life she would never be seen with somebody like me. How could she? I'm just an overweight guy with nothing but a personality to offer up, and she's more. Like an angel. I haven't felt like this in years; the butterflies in my stomach, that tingle up my spine and the giddy grin that makes my face hurt when we chat. I know it's just a fantasy. Two people enjoying each other over the internet - harmless really. But sometimes it feels like it should be more, even though I know full well it won't be. Can't be. Distance, logistics and the laws of the universe would prevent us from ever meeting. But I still ache for her.
There is no guilt on my end. She has filled my head for months, and I'm good with it. She makes me want to be a better person - maybe somebody that would deserve her. I have to keep this secret, and I gladly do; the thrill of our secret online trysts adds to the excitement. My internet indescretions are easy enough to hide. For now. This sort of thing always finds a way to come out - be it an internet window left carelessly open or an email sent to a wrong address... I'll deal with that when it happens. For now I only think of her. I hear the garage door. I have just enough time to stare into her beautiful face one more time and cover my tracks before the door swings open and I greet my wife with a smile that belongs to somebody else.
I enjoy the few minutes (sometimes hours) that I get to chat with her each day. On days that I don't talk to her, it feels like there's something missing. In real life she would never be seen with somebody like me. How could she? I'm just an overweight guy with nothing but a personality to offer up, and she's more. Like an angel. I haven't felt like this in years; the butterflies in my stomach, that tingle up my spine and the giddy grin that makes my face hurt when we chat. I know it's just a fantasy. Two people enjoying each other over the internet - harmless really. But sometimes it feels like it should be more, even though I know full well it won't be. Can't be. Distance, logistics and the laws of the universe would prevent us from ever meeting. But I still ache for her.
There is no guilt on my end. She has filled my head for months, and I'm good with it. She makes me want to be a better person - maybe somebody that would deserve her. I have to keep this secret, and I gladly do; the thrill of our secret online trysts adds to the excitement. My internet indescretions are easy enough to hide. For now. This sort of thing always finds a way to come out - be it an internet window left carelessly open or an email sent to a wrong address... I'll deal with that when it happens. For now I only think of her. I hear the garage door. I have just enough time to stare into her beautiful face one more time and cover my tracks before the door swings open and I greet my wife with a smile that belongs to somebody else.