Health.

[zoolane]

In recent months, Luke's teachers' had notice a stack off energy in him. Luke mental state seem to be stable enough. Six months before, Luke was out going, full of vitality and had pretty good social life. The teachers' strange a meeting with hes parents to discuss the matter because the school was so concern for Luke health.

Daniel is Luke best friend, they had being through nursery, primary and now senior school together. They knew everything about each other life's in school and outside. Daniel was getting worried about he's friend to. Luke is coming very withdraw from all aspects of hes life.
Hes has come alone in school. He harder never leave hes room only that mealtimes. It seem weird, Luke eats well but never putting any weight on.

Luke appearance has change a quite lot over the last few months. Hes got dark rings around the eyes and hes hair is dull. Hes body is just skin and bone. Hes look like drown rat in hes clothes.

Luke is now home school by hes mum and she try her best. Luke is so fragile that hes hard move round without a walking stick. In no time that all, Luke has being admitted to hospital and staff try help him. On the 1st of March, Luke was found dead in hes sterile room in the hospital.

Luke's mum is cleaning he's room and trying to sort out hes stuff. Of she wants to keep. She pull of sheets of hes bed. Suddenly a book fell on to the floor. She pick it up and recover it Luke's dairy. She begin to reading it. 1st page Luke description he feeling. He wrote that he wish that hes was dead, for hole open up swallow him whole and for hes parents stop force food down he throat.

[loki456]

wow, blunt. some grammatical issues throughout, but guessing English isn't your first language?
quite short, but a retrospective look at a youth dying. I'm kind of intrigued myself at the differences one has to death and dying throughout different stages of their lives.
thanks for sharing

Loks

[zoolane]

wow, blunt. some grammatical issues throughout, but guessing English isn't your first language?
quite short, but a retrospective look at a youth dying. I'm kind of intrigued myself at the differences one has to death and dying throughout different stages of their lives.
thanks for sharing

Loks

Hi Loks,
Thank you for your comment on this very short piece of my written.
English my only language, speaking and written. I don't remember being taught basic in primary. When I was suppose being taught. In senior school. I sort skipping whole of the 3rd year. At moment I am current back at college doing my English Language GCSE.
Zoo

[MANICHAEAN]

Its a sad story zoolane and its sensitive.
I've got no problem with the shortness of the piece myself, as it contains all the main characters and story that you need to convey to the reader.
I actually enjoyed it as I thought about it more.
I knew a girl once, (sister to my brother's wife) who had an eating disorder & when I embraced her to say goodbye after some family function, I was struck by the lack of flesh on her. You try to disguise it and you feel pity.

Yourself, you have the courage to keep writing, even though as loki has noted, English is most probably not your native language. So tell me, whats your method? Do you write in one language & then use a dictionary to translate? I would guess that you are hearing around you in the UK, English expressions you would be unlikely to learn for example in a a correspondence course.

Might I suggest you just get someone to read it through with you and step by step the fluency will come. I did French at school for 5 years. Vocab no problem, but grammer, tenses etc I had no talent. And so I do not have your courage to use it. Good luck.
M.

[zoolane]

Its a sad story zoolane and its sensitive.
I've got no problem with the shortness of the piece myself, as it contains all the main characters and story that you need to convey to the reader.
I actually enjoyed it as I thought about it more.
I knew a girl once, (sister to my brother's wife) who had an eating disorder & when I embraced her to say goodbye after some family function, I was struck by the lack of flesh on her. You try to disguise it and you feel pity.

Yourself, you have the courage to keep writing, even though as loki has noted, English is most probably not your native language. So tell me, whats your method? Do you write in one language & then use a dictionary to translate? I would guess that you are hearing around you in the UK, English expressions you would be unlikely to learn for example in a a correspondence course.

Might I suggest you just get someone to read it through with you and step by step the fluency will come. I did French at school for 5 years. Vocab no problem, but grammer, tenses etc I had no talent. And so I do not have your courage to use it. Good luck.
M.



OK. Brief History on me.


Born in 1978 at Royal London hospital in White chapel.
Parents Mother was from South Ireland and my father was from London.
Primary schools one in the city and other at I went to in Bethnal Green for 4 years(age 6 to 10) due having speech problem.

Secondary school in Bow from year 9 to half way through 10. I did not property attendance.

That why I only got a F in English Language exam.

As for my method for written, it normal I get a idea and away I go. I try edit as I go or after.

[MANICHAEAN]

Thanks Zoolane. Now I'm getting the picture. If it helps, we have somewhat similiar backgrounds. I was born in Fulham, Southern Irish father, mother from Chelsea, but I did attend all the classes or else my Dad took his belt to me!

You still want me to give it to you straight? Continue in what you write. Sorry about the misunderstanding on what is your native language. I presumed too much, was insensitive & put my foot in it. Forgive?
Best wishes
M.

[zoolane]

Thanks Zoolane. Now I'm getting the picture. If it helps, we have somewhat similiar backgrounds. I was born in Fulham, Southern Irish father, mother from Chelsea, but I did attend all the classes or else my Dad took his belt to me!

You still want me to give it to you straight? Continue in what you write. Sorry about the misunderstanding on what is your native language. I presumed too much, was insensitive & put my foot in it. Forgive?
Best wishes
M.

Hi Manichaean,
yes you are forgive for the misunderstand and to be honest I've had that same question few times on this site. Straight as you like in regard of my written. That rate I am going, problem still won't be able string sentence property together or written correctly for other 10 years lol.

My college teacher said at she 'going me to get some support'.

[MANICHAEAN]

Good girl. We are all proud of you.
Hang in there.
Best regards
M.

[hillwalker]

Back to the story - it ends quite suddenly and very sadly, but the no-holds-barred build-up had me prepared that this would not be a 'happy ever after' story. I'm now expecting you to let us know bit by bit what was in his diary!

H

[zoolane]

Back to the story - it ends quite suddenly and very sadly, but the no-holds-barred build-up had me prepared that this would not be a 'happy ever after' story. I'm now expecting you to let us know bit by bit what was in his diary!

H

OK I will try and give it go. I think bit research is needed.

[hillwalker]

There are actually web sites that ENCOURAGE young people to become anorexic believe it or not - promoting it as a lifestyle choice.

So if you need some help just type in pro-ana.

H

[zoolane]

There are actually web sites that ENCOURAGE young people to become anorexic believe it or not - promoting it as a lifestyle choice.

So if you need some help just type in pro-ana.

H

I PERSONAL think that thing on web promoting any eating disorders a should be ban from Internet. By the government of each country.


Dear diary, Monday 1ST Feb 2010.

I manage skip breakfast again because they their busy argue again.
Today was horrible. I had sit next the with best body in the school.
Her collar bone was stick out. I wish mine was like that.
I AM FAT I AM FAT!!! I wish I was size zero.
At lunch, I had get chips and burger. Which I force down my
throat but slim was nice. Soon as I could made
my excuse to Dan. I hurried of to disable toilet.
I struck fingers down and purge into heaven.

[hillwalker]

I agree with you zoo about the web-sites...

and this diary entry is very realistic, especially that last line - 'purge into heaven'.

Sometimes when researching you come across information that makes you think twice about the way the world works, but also fires up your imagination. This is powerful stuff you are writing here.

H

[Delta40]

Those Pro-Anna sites believe it is a lifestyle choice - no different from people who are obese.

You can always be trusted to scratch more than the surface in anything you write Zoo. You capture issues the rainbow of emotions we experience in our lives and slap them into context in a few short lines.

keep going!

[zoolane]

Thank you for comments H, Delta.


Dear diary, Tuesday 9Th Feb 2010.

I have avoid eating a property for 2 days now. I was feeling great.
Until I was called to nurse office and Dr was here.
I got weighted on scale. I am 5 Stone and I AM STILL SO FAT.
The Dr made notes and said 'I was under weight'. I know
truth I AM FAT. I need to get 4 stone or less.

My ribs, hips and collar still do not stick enough.
I found great website with tips on everything.
I LOVE PRO-ANA.

[zoolane]

Dear diary, Thursday 18Th Feb 2010.

I haven't being at school for few days, not from when
I collapse in hall last Friday. My parents' are force feed me like baby.
I had play long bit because threaten me with hospital.
But lucky enough I have some laxatives and purge still
with pens or pencils. My fingers hurt went I try to do myself.
Still not reach my goal of 3 stone. I got 1 stone to go.
I AM FAT. I AM FAT. I AM FAT.
Weird thing happened other day, I cut myself by accident
but I felt sense of freedom as blood run down my hand.

[zoolane]

Dear dairy, Sunday 28Th Feb 2010.

I have being in hospital now for 4 days, I was admitting
because passed out at dinner table and had blood
dipping from my sleeves. The Dr's said it was
of malnutrition but I know it because I am overweight.
My parents gave the Dr permission for tube.
They are force feeding me with tube in stomach.
I do not wish have this tube and tomorrow I am demanding
it gets remove. I wish leave me alone.
I am now 2 stone. I am still so fat.
I NEED TO BE 0 STONE. TO BE HAPPY.

[hillwalker]

I think you are actually enjoying this - even though the material is pretty harrowing you seem to be a natural when it comes to this style of writing. It's very realistic and gripping.

H

[loki456]

This is great Zoo... just for some medical info though... PEG (percutaneous endoscopic gastrostomy) feeds can only be agreed too by the patient, so if she really didn't want it, then she wouldn't have been given those types of feeds.

A better way to describe this would be to say she actually passed out from not eating. Thereby giving her parents the autonomy to choose medical treatments such as the PEG feed. This in fact would open up a whole new can of worms for you to explore, such as parents rights in these sorts of medical conditions and how she would have felt with the parents making these decisions on her behalf.

the possibilities give me goosebumps. hope you do explore this, cause your style is very much suited to these ethical dilemmas.
thanks

Loks

[zoolane]

I think you are actually enjoying this - even though the material is pretty harrowing you seem to be a natural when it comes to this style of writing. It's very realistic and gripping.

H

I am enjoy just bit and yes I know weird. It strange I haven't seen this kind of here before.


This is great Zoo... just for some medical info though... PEG (percutaneous endoscopic gastrostomy) feeds can only be agreed too by the patient, so if she really didn't want it, then she wouldn't have been given those types of feeds.

A better way to describe this would be to say she actually passed out from not eating. Thereby giving her parents the autonomy to choose medical treatments such as the PEG feed. This in fact would open up a whole new can of worms for you to explore, such as parents rights in these sorts of medical conditions and how she would have felt with the parents making these decisions on her behalf.

the possibilities give me goosebumps. hope you do explore this, cause your style is very much suited to these ethical dilemmas.
thanks

Loks

Hm other person with challenge I see (not mention any names)lol. I have re edit peice so sound more in tune with what said Loks thanks. I will have think maybe doing research for parents point view. BTW It boy name Luke and not girl.

[loki456]

bravo on the edit.
works magnificently for me anyways.
haha I will always challenge, just as I hope people would challenge me. It's the only way we grow, and I know you can handle it ;)