A love poem ;)

[Silas Thorne]

I'd love you like the morning sun,
but you're five hours behind,
and so I'll sit here drinking
until you meet my eyes.

I'd love you though I can't stand up
and am too drunk to dance.
I'd love you in the stairwell,
if you give me half a chance.

I'd love you in the building's lift
and on that lower shelf,
but as you slammed the door on me
I guess I'll love myself.

[NikolaiI]

This is brilliant and beautiful Silas. The last stanza's seeming innuendo is offset by the sweetness and innocence of the first two. I love it. :)

[Lumiere]

The voice is very convincing.
I'm imagining this being sung by Frank Sinatra or Ella Fitzgerald to a slow, soppy something.

[Jerrybaldy]

it spoke to me of an internet love, but my history of reading correctly is riddled with failure. I enjoyed its telling either way and in its strongly controlled undertones.
cheers
jerryB

[Delta40]

It does sound a little like internet love. Definitely quirky

[PrinceMyshkin]

Good poem, but couldn't you find someone who lives a mere 4 1/2 hours away?

[hack]

Good one Silas.
V1L4 needs some work.
behind/eyes doesn't work for me.
...peace...

[Silas Thorne]

Thanks everyone for your comments! :)

Nik: Thanks Nik. It was just a bit of fun, glad you enjoyed it. :) I'm not sure how innocent that second stanza is though. There's quite a bit of innuendo in this too.

Lumiere: Thanks. It is a voice, not me. I was thinking more Tom Waits...

JerryB/Delta/PrinceM: Yes, it could well be internet love. Or maybe even the case of someone who is in love with a very late riser. JerryB, I was worried that the undertones weren't strongly controlled enough!

Hack: Yes, you are right, that first one stands out. Thanks! :) Was just trying to be out of step. Maybe I should have made it more 'rhymy' in the first bit. If it was a song though, maybe 'behind' and 'eyes' could work? Maybe I'll work on that.

[Cunninglinguist]

If it was intended, I really like the comparison between narcissism (quite literally "self love") and lust.

[hillwalker]

A clever poem, with a certain lilt to it. But I also read it as a declaration of desire for someone five time zones away.

H

[Silas Thorne]

Thanks everyone!
Yes, Cunninglinguist (glad I didn't spell that wrong!), there is that link in there.

Thank you too, hillwalker. It was just a little parody of certain kinds of love poems that I can't be bothered to write.