Sweet Love Wins

[Lamar Cole]

Bonfire burns.
Firelight flickering softly upon your skin.
Flames rising high.
Passion reaching the sky.

Lips touching,
Hands searching,
Hearts blend.
Sweet love wins.

[hillwalker]

'Sugary sweet' - but that's all I can find to say about this.

It's terribly unoriginal and seems to be little more than another list of cliches.
Instead of writing to the same formula over and over again it would be interesting to see you stretch yourself a little and try to write about real relationships instead of this chocolate box version of romance. Try to engage the reader's imagination rather than battering them over the head with a stick of candy floss.

The person you write these for is no doubt delighted at being worshipped in this fashion. But as I have said earlier, your poems are too much like opening someone else's love letters.

What do you expect any reader to get from this slushy poem except a sickly feeling of having wandered into someone's love nest by mistake?

H