Vagrant and other peoms.

[zoolane]

The Vagrant


The vagrant with hes plastic bag of belonging.
Hes is drifting from shop door way to next.
He settle in alley behind a cafe.
He search the bins for hes dinner.
With cardboard boxes for hes bed.

Sleep in he safely of hes dream.
A pale gold shimmers down.
It make him into young man of youth again.
Round him is radiant glow of azure.
Slow he feeling great sense relieve.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Wonderfully compassionate portrait of this person.

[zoolane]

Thank you very much Prince. Actual re doing poems from yesterday next is to.

The Secret Garden.

Scarlet is weep itself into the pond.
There white blight is form all on the garden floor
Empty space is under the fruit tree.

A grief stricken young girl.
As she stay hid within wither flowers.
Her skirt is tore to pieces.

A unwanted bundle is near tree.
The shame of it all.
The girl crying with guilt.

Desperate for someone to hear her.
In the secret garden
The small hole has being fill.

Under the fruit tree.

[hillwalker]

Both of these show improvements on their earlier versions - you have condensed the story and removed much of the confusing imagery.

The 'Secret Garden' poem suggests a young mother, a dead baby and a newly-dug grave for me - but I could be a million miles away. But despite the sadness of the images I enjoyed this second poem the most.

H

[zoolane]

Both of these show improvements on their earlier versions - you have condensed the story and removed much of the confusing imagery.

The 'Secret Garden' poem suggests a young mother, a dead baby and a newly-dug grave for me - but I could be a million miles away. But despite the sadness of the images I enjoyed this second poem the most.

H

Yes, you're right with the 'Secret Garden'. I was debate yesterday, to put the 'bundle' in and I decide against it actual. I was think in was to obvious.

[zoolane]

Within These Walls.

Are these walls closing on me? I said.
The beast reply ''no''.
But I can see beige come for me.
As I sit here dwindling away.
Legs eleven is what I am wait for.

Here come monster with her poison.
Decline bits matter on a plate.
Force it down my throat.
Will I wake up in morning

[zoolane]

Weight


The lead tie to my feet.
Which you bind to me.

The thrust of your hand.
As plunge me over the edge.

The wind is in my face.
I am see dirty fluid.
As my face hit it.

[Delta40]

I can feel the impact as you plunge into your dark abyss.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I wish I understood what "Legs eleven" meant.

And both these latest poems are dark! If you have ongoing emotional issues, I hope you know where to look for help in dealing with them.

[zoolane]

I wish I understood what "Legs eleven" meant.

And both these latest poems are dark! If you have ongoing emotional issues, I hope you know where to look for help in dealing with them.

'legs eleven' is term use in play Bingo.

Prince I am stable state. I know hard to believe but I am fine. Thank you for your concern