Two black crows on my windowsill talk to me

[Jassy Melson]

They tell me I am a fool for thinking
I can write anything original.
They mock me in hoarse coarse caws of derision.
They laugh through their bills at my impertinence.
I agree with them. What I try to do
is impossible. I am trying to write
something that has never been written before.
I am sixty-three years old and I have lung cancer.
What hope is there that I can do it?
There is no hope but still I attempt it.
Who can explain the insanity of a writer?
The crows stare at me with their black eyes.
I know what they want, I know their purpose.
They have been sent by God and Satan
to prevent me from writing anything original.
It would hurt them both if I did it.
They don't want to kill me, that would be too easy.
They want to drive me insane, they think
by doing so it will stop me from my quest
and its accomplishment. Little do they know
that I am already insane. All their tricks
to stop me are in vain. I know even as I try
that I will never accomplish it. So be it.
I don't give a damn and I have nothing to lose.
So why shouldn't I try?
Ha ha ha the crows have fled.
I was too much for them.
They couldn't stand my madness.
Now I can write in peace.

[Delta40]

I like how your poem focuses on the black crows as a preventative to writing well. It is ironic that the poem shows the insane struggle to do just that till they leave you to write in peace, an apt tone given the health status. Really quite effective upon a second reading. Just a couple of points that may help.

L5&6 both use the term try which is too repetitive as you also use the word in L10.

L8 should be am rather than an.

Beware of the use of 'that' Often when I write, I find this word slips in places where it need not be and lengthens what I wish to say unecessarily.

Thanks Jassy

[Jassy Melson]

thank you for the tips

[Buh4Bee]

The title needs some editing. It sounds like the first draft that was written in a hospital during chemo treatments.

The chronic sickness (lung cancer) brings about the acute madness of the narrator, and this I find to be extremely intense. This is why I wanted to keep reading the poem. It is like reading the crazy thoughts of a cancer patient's mind. This however, seems more like a monologue than a poem. It is interesting though.

[Jassy Melson]

thank you for reading and for your comment

[PrinceMyshkin]

Little do they know
that I am already insane.

is for me the heartbreak line, the one that means what it says yet cries out to be disproved.

I'd end this with "So be it" which had for me the essential note of defiance and composure. What came after it felt like steering your boat back into safe harbour.

My compliments.

[Jassy Melson]

Thank you