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View Full Version : Tips on how to finish this story.



Mark-Mc
10-06-2010, 01:34 PM
Basically, I have to do a plan for a script I am doing for school and I think Ive got a good idea but Im stuck in the middle and don't know what to do with the story. This is what I have so far.

A woman called Linda is on the phone talking to a friend. The phone goes dead. The electricity shus off. A door bangs. Linda feels something brush up against her shoulder. A lighter is lit and Linda sees the face of the intruder. She recognises the face. FLASHBACK. A young girl is crying while looking at a woman who is screaming. A man is telling her to shut up and he shoots the woman in the head. He leaves the little girl (Linda) and walks out of the room. FLASHBACK OVER. 'Dad?' says Linda. He shoots her twice in the head with a silenced pistol.
Next Scene
The killer gets into a Black Audi A4. There is another man driving. The other mans name is David. The Killers name is Rodney. David wonders why he has been called so late and Rodneys says he had something to take care of. Davis starts laughing and drives off.
Next Scene
PC Rodney Harris walks into a police station the next morning. Someone told him that there has been a murder the night before. A 23 year old had been shot twice in the head. She was the daughter of the infamous serial killer James Harrison who had killed himself, the night he killed his wife.

This is all I have guys and I would really appreciate if you give me some ideas. Such as Why is James Harrison posing as a police officer nearly 15 years after he had faked his own death? Why did he fake his own death? Why did he kill his wife and daughter? And, What will he do next?

Any feedback will be brilliant. Thank you.

hillwalker
10-06-2010, 02:18 PM
Going to the trouble of deciding the colour and make of car of the getaway vehicle but not coming up with any logical jump from a dead serial killer to a bogus policeman seems a rather strange way of working on a script - a case of putting the cart before the horse.

I can perhaps see why the killer would fake his own death after killing his wife - and later return to kill his daughter once she has come into an inheritance for example, but

1) why does he need to be an infamous serial killer?
2) why does he need to impersonate a police officer? - totally pointless as far as I can see.
3) why does he need to arrange for a driver at short notice? and does it matter what the driver's name is anyway?

You seem to be getting bogged down in unnecessary details that are confusing the issue - rather than getting to grips with generating a believeable scenario,
but all is not lost presumably.

Funnily enough, when I get to a sticking point in a story I ask my characters what they are going to do next. But then I know them and trust them. Not sure about this lot in your story though!

H

Cat Square
10-07-2010, 10:26 PM
Funnily enough, when I get to a sticking point in a story I ask my characters what they are going to do next.

What a fantastic suggestion! I love it.