Skia and other poems.

[zoolane]

Skia.

Skia is her name and sky the limit.
She loves her Stars Wars films.
She has secret crush on Darth Vader.
Her rap and slang poems are great.
She live in our capital city.


Sun and Moon.

Earth is tugs that sun.
Sun is try to up in the sky.
But Shepard's delight is said ''no''.
''It time for you to going bed''.

Sun has gentle faded away.
Moon with it silver shine.
Races fast as it can into night sky.
The moon called her children.
Her children spead out over the night sky.


Under Died Love

As my under died love.
Burn in my very soul.
Wish you will stay forever.
My heart beat with very stroke made.

As you spread out your love.
For all to see in very shape and form.
Wish that they to could same as us.

Blended in are unique way.
Maybe we will be together, when I older and senile.

[hillwalker]

I think your Nature poems are the best of the bunch - you've got such an original way of seeing things (a touch of angli, but with both feet planted firmly on the ground in Humberside rather than in the mystical clouds of the Orient).

I particularly liked the imagery of the Moon and her children 'spread out over the night sky'.

And your third one - hoping to grow old with someone. Who could ask for a better declaration of love?

H

[zoolane]

I think your Nature poems are the best of the bunch - you've got such an original way of seeing things (a touch of angli, but with both feet planted firmly on the ground in Humberside rather than in the mystical clouds of the Orient).

I particularly liked the imagery of the Moon and her children 'spread out over the night sky'.

And your third one - hoping to grow old with someone. Who could ask for a better declaration of love?

H

Thank you for comments, see I do have that soft side somewhere.

Third poem is now I feel about writing of any kind.

[Delta40]

I have not doubted your soft side Zoo :-)

[aliengirl]

Your poems are short but one or two phrases always catch my eye. I like the imagery of moon and her children spread over the sky. Its really an original idea.

The last poem is also good and I'm looking forward to more such poems from you.

Best Wishes Zoo. :)

[PrinceMyshkin]

Despite some unidiomatic phrases or grammar, I love the spontaneity of these, and their warmth.

[zoolane]

Despite some unidiomatic phrases or grammar, I love the spontaneity of these, and their warmth.

Hi Prince,
Thank you for comment, I have never plan or brain storm when write a poem, normal it my head, just go from here and I have just recently for short story that had do for English in college.

[Skia]

Zoo, I want to thank you for the poem :)
I love the fact you wrote about how I have a crush on Darth Vader, (I've always had a crush on the person who becomes him in eps. 1,2,3 - Hayden Christensen so much appreciated, love it ;)

I love all the poems :) The imagrey you show in your poems are unique and always a good 'un :)

[zoolane]

Zoo, I want to thank you for the poem :)
I love the fact you wrote about how I have a crush on Darth Vader, (I've always had a crush on the person who becomes him in eps. 1,2,3 - Hayden Christensen so much appreciated, love it ;)

I love all the poems :) The imagrey you show in your poems are unique and always a good 'un :)

Hi Hun,
It was pleasure to write poem about a friend such you. I though you would like crush bit. :p

I always loves reading your poems to and I wish could be more invented bit different style like you are.


Faith

Faith is bedded in a person.
Faith is spiritual and knowledge.
Faith is know that you can come through other side.
Still be whole person at the end.

Faith is ability and self believe in everything.
Faith is guild you in your multi colour path of life.

[Skia]

Everyone has a different writing style - and It's good to read fresh poetry that i'm not familiar with, such as your beautiful work! :)

And Faith is beautiful. The words flow so sweetly. :)

[zoolane]

Everyone has a different writing style - and It's good to read fresh poetry that i'm not familiar with, such as your beautiful work! :)

And Faith is beautiful. The words flow so sweetly. :)

I was bit under sure of 'Faith' and plus I was positive that spell it wrong lol.

[Haunted]

I love how you express faith and the fact that you even wrote about it. Also love the moon poem, the imageries are unique and inspirational. Died Love is very poignant and the prospect of reuniting always hits me in my soft spot.

[zoolane]

I love how you express faith and the fact that you even wrote about it. Also love the moon poem, the imageries are unique and inspirational. Died Love is very poignant and the prospect of reuniting always hits me in my soft spot.

Thanks Haunted mean lots aleast not all dark poetry like week ago, I was bit bored of dark poems. I bet shut up by dark one pop in my head. :aureola:

Angel Wings.

Angel with her delicate,translucent wings.
Flutter over the choose one.
Wings soft as silk, crest the breeze.
White as the clouds in sky.

Gentle to the touch.
But the wings are vulnerable.
Angel wings.

[Skia]

How sweet and angelic
Angel Wings is,
Elegance in two stanzas,
lovely and pure.

;)

[hillwalker]

Great line :

Wings soft as silk, crest the breeze.

- 'soft as silk' is such a tired-out cliche..... but you rescue it with that follow-up.

H

[zoolane]

Great line :

Wings soft as silk, crest the breeze.

- 'soft as silk' is such a tired-out cliche..... but you rescue it with that follow-up.

H

Thank you this jump out me, when I saw poll about other 'Angel' poem.
I haven't actually got round readed it yet.

[Haunted]

If it's transparent that it wouldn't be white. I think you can tighten the description of the wings. Otherwise it's a lovely poem.

[zoolane]

Thanks Haunted mean lots aleast not all dark poetry like week ago, I was bit bored of dark poems. I bet shut up by dark one pop in my head. :aureola:

Angel Wings.

Angel with her delicate, translucent wings.
Flutter over the choose one.
Wings soft as silk, crest the breeze.
White as the clouds in sky.

Gentle to the touch.
But the wings are vulnerable.
Angel wings.


If it's transparent that it wouldn't be white. I think you can tighten the description of the wings. Otherwise it's a lovely poem.

If you think about every 'Angel' which see be portriat on TV or books, the wings always paper thin or even thin, so if it you think about? I think my description is really right.

[Haunted]

hmmm white transparency...ok, if it works for you, it works for me :)

[Skia]

I see where Haunted is coming from, do you mean Opaque Zoo?

[zoolane]

I see where Haunted is coming from, do you mean Opaque Zoo?

Thanks Skia that the word I look for. I edit now.

[Skia]

Well it could be slightly opaque with a shadow of pearlescent white?

[billl]

Just popping in! I've been checking through some of the latest threads, hope you don't mind:

1. I also am impressed by the "Wings soft as silk, crest the breeze" line.

2. "slightly opaque with a shadow of pearlescent white" is pretty poetic! But could the word "translucent" maybe be the word that's being looked for?

[Skia]

"translucent" maybe be the word that's being looked for?
Ah yeah I think that works well ;)

[zoolane]

Just popping in! I've been checking through some of the latest threads, hope you don't mind:

1. I also am impressed by the "Wings soft as silk, crest the breeze" line.

2. "slightly opaque with a shadow of pearlescent white" is pretty poetic! But could the word "translucent" maybe be the word that's being looked for?
Thank you bill for praise and your help the word.




Ah yeah I think that works well ;)

Thanks Skia x

[Skia]

Thou is welcome :D

[dafydd manton]

Just revisiting "Under died love", I particularly liked the expression "spread out your love", a beautiful image of somebody's love being open for inspection and approval. Your use of imagery is really enjoyable. (Now to look at the others....)

[zoolane]

All I want to.........

All I want to is a writer.
I love to write in my unique way.
Start of with 1-2 words .
Be able to make up a verse.
On the way to bus stop or while ironing.

I am not good at spelling or grammar.
But I will put my heart and soul in to the poem.
I adore to write.
Be able to expressed what never I want to.

[zoolane]

Just revisiting "Under died love", I particularly liked the expression "spread out your love", a beautiful image of somebody's love being open for inspection and approval. Your use of imagery is really enjoyable. (Now to look at the others....)

Hi Dafy,
Me and my imagery, might get me in trouble one day if I not careful:p The poem was not suppose be a love poem of sort it my feels to written.

[zoolane]

Dawn Break

Dawn break, I am wakeing by rising sun,
Dawn passing the opening in my curtain.
I try to hide beneath my cover.

But still beam of dawn.
Reaching my eyes.
Final I sit up in bed.
Face the day, head on with optimised.

[dafydd manton]

All I want to.........

All I want to is a writer.
I love to write in my unique way.
Start of with 1-2 words .
Be able to make up a verse.
On the way to bus stop or while ironing.

I am not good at spelling or grammar.
But I will put my heart and soul in to the poem.
I adore to write.
Be able to expressed what never I want to.

You know something Zoo? The spelling and grammar may be important to some, and it has its place, sometimes, but if a poem awakens an emotion in the reader, no matter what, then it is a good poem. This awakens emotions, therefore, as far as I am concerned, it is a good poem. That is all there is to it.

[Delta40]

:iagree: some folk are sticklers for punctuation and grammar but your heart shows through the obstacles you face Zoo, which makes your poetry, at times, exceptional reading

[zoolane]

You know something Zoo? The spelling and grammar may be important to some, and it has its place, sometimes, but if a poem awakens an emotion in the reader, no matter what, then it is a good poem. This awakens emotions, therefore, as far as I am concerned, it is a good poem. That is all there is to it.

Now this morning, I can see few mistakes in the poem but I think I will leave it as it is.


:iagree: some folk are sticklers for punctuation and grammar but your heart shows through the obstacles you face Zoo, which makes your poetry, at times, exceptional reading

Thank you Delta I am try to get grammar sort but got a funny feel it take forever to fix.