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angliholic
10-01-2010, 10:00 PM
You're like a quiet and lonely mistress,
always waiting in an obscure corner for your lover.
You know quite well
it's easy for him to lose his way home in a fool's paradise
like a bee loses his direction in a garden of pretty lasses.

Only after all the leaves have fallen all over the ground,
the world is covered with white snow,
and after all the pretty flowers are all gone,
will he think of your soothing serenity!

Ah! How gracious you are!
You give, patiently, green beauty to the world,
yet leave all the loneliness for yourself!

Skia
10-02-2010, 09:58 AM
Ah, beauty and ever shows through your words :)

Delta40
10-02-2010, 10:03 AM
Wonderful Ang. may I offer a critique?

like a bee loses his direction in a garden of pretty lasses. This is my favourite line. The mixture of nature and love is apparent here.

Only after all the leaves have fallen all over the ground,
The use of 'all' twice in the line is distracting. Perhaps consider:
Only after all the leaves have fallen to the ground

aliengirl
10-02-2010, 03:10 PM
A beautiful poem Ang! Sometimes the most beautiful things are hidden away in a corner and ou have to find them. I like best the last two lines.