Clouds in my Coffee

[Rmort]

How do i delete this post...?!

[Delta40]

There is a switch from past tense at the begining to present tense at the end of the 3rd paragraph which you should fix for better flow and less confusion. I like the resplendent sunlight start because it is really strong and it made me as a reader squint my eyes!

Running water filled her cupped hands, and Nora replenished her face, rubbing her nose and eyes. This is a little bumpy and I suggest you find a way to write it so it equates to the simple action you refer to. For example:

"She rubbed her eyes and nose as she splashed cold water over her face.'

As she sat in the morning blockade of traffic, Nora stared blankly into space while sitting in the front seat of her beat up Jeep.

The reader can assume Nora is in the front seat because there is no indication that anyone else is driving

As she was attempting to put on the pesky top, she gazed into the steaming pot of coffee with eyes that could heal. I like this line very much as it opens up the possibilities for the story.

I think the story has potential. who was the woman? what role does she play in Nora's life? what happened between them that changed Nora's outlook when she gazed in the mirror?

Expand on the obscure mystery you have introduced here to grab the readers interest

[chimney_swift]

It's a great story.

Thanks.

[hillwalker]

It's a well-drawn picture - with some very evocative phrases.

I'll second Delta's comments - just adding that the opening sentence would probably read better without 'awakening the dazed Nora' at the end of it. It's a clumsy expression and all you need to do to introduce the heroine is to change 'she' to 'Nora' in the following line.

Very promising otherwise.

H