Jerrybaldy
10-01-2010, 07:03 PM
The lord created our world in seven days.
First he created the rock itself
so we would have a place to suffer
and so his son could suffer there
some time later
after some fishing
and some cabinetmaking.
He probably tutted at the workmanship
of that creaky crucifix.
To be frank, its amazing
that it took a mans weight.
I digress.
He created woman
to stop all the men
from buggering eachother.
On wednesday
he created dinosaur fossils
to test our faith
and so we could suffer more
through fundamentalists.
He threw the rest of the universe together
on a Friday after a smoke and a mars bar
( Cigarettes and confectionary having been
created on overtime on Thursday)
Early on saturday came the three toed sloth
atheltes foot, the amoeba and black holes.
For a while we lived for hundreds of years
but God saw that alzheimers, impotence
and incontinence was an issue
so decided upon three score and ten.
Nobody is going to buy this, he thought
so he created different faiths
so each could protect his own
and slaughter each other.
He rested on one of the weekend days
and called it the sabbath
as a result shops shut on that day
for nearly two thousand years.
He loved the children
but got very annoyed how they
loved dinosaurs so.
Everytime the lords prayer
(his personal favourite)
was spoken or thought
he delayed that persons demise.
Each time a person in need
began a request
'God help me'
he would take a personal interest
but sometimes he was busy
and with others he just couldnt be arsed.
But in 2010 years after the man who may be his son
or a prophet or a salesman
died on a busmans holiday
there are people living every word
and newcomers trying again.
God knows maybe how many followers
of scientology will be spouting crap
in another two millennia
Still we must give them all
the greatest of respect.
__________________
First he created the rock itself
so we would have a place to suffer
and so his son could suffer there
some time later
after some fishing
and some cabinetmaking.
He probably tutted at the workmanship
of that creaky crucifix.
To be frank, its amazing
that it took a mans weight.
I digress.
He created woman
to stop all the men
from buggering eachother.
On wednesday
he created dinosaur fossils
to test our faith
and so we could suffer more
through fundamentalists.
He threw the rest of the universe together
on a Friday after a smoke and a mars bar
( Cigarettes and confectionary having been
created on overtime on Thursday)
Early on saturday came the three toed sloth
atheltes foot, the amoeba and black holes.
For a while we lived for hundreds of years
but God saw that alzheimers, impotence
and incontinence was an issue
so decided upon three score and ten.
Nobody is going to buy this, he thought
so he created different faiths
so each could protect his own
and slaughter each other.
He rested on one of the weekend days
and called it the sabbath
as a result shops shut on that day
for nearly two thousand years.
He loved the children
but got very annoyed how they
loved dinosaurs so.
Everytime the lords prayer
(his personal favourite)
was spoken or thought
he delayed that persons demise.
Each time a person in need
began a request
'God help me'
he would take a personal interest
but sometimes he was busy
and with others he just couldnt be arsed.
But in 2010 years after the man who may be his son
or a prophet or a salesman
died on a busmans holiday
there are people living every word
and newcomers trying again.
God knows maybe how many followers
of scientology will be spouting crap
in another two millennia
Still we must give them all
the greatest of respect.
__________________