flightlessbird
09-29-2010, 03:50 PM
This is my first short story. I'd love any and all feedback. Thanks for reading.
8-19-2010
Barefoot, they walked down the hill to one of the many beaches in Monterey, CA. The smell was the first thing Johnny noticed. The smell of seaweed and salt water. The smell of every beach. “Beaches always smell the same way” he repeated out loud.
“Yeah, but I like it” Courtney replied.
“I guess you gotta if you wanna be a marine biologist,” Johnny said, grabbing her hand and leading her down to the beach. They’d been going out for almost three years now, but they’d gotten into different colleges on opposite sides of the country so they had less than a week left in the life of their relationship. Johnny was painfully aware of this and always kept it in the back of his mind. This weekend down the coast was their last alone time together. Ever. “C’mon lets go climb the rocks, maybe there are some tide pools up there,” Johnny called back as he started up the rocks.
Sitting on the edge of the rocks was a little like sitting on the edge of the world. The brown of the earth hitting the blues and greens of the sea for the first time. “The ocean is so big. The world is SO big. Do you ever think about that Court? We drove more than 100 miles today, more than we could ever explore in a lifetime, and that was nothing” Johnny blurted out. He always said what was on his mind without thinking it through, something Courtney had become accustomed to.
“Yeah, I’ve thought about it” was all she said, almost in a whisper, drawing herself tighter into his arms. They fell silent, looking out at the water, both wondering how they would manage the next four years and beyond.
They cruised down the winding 18-mile-drive, taking in the scenery and enjoying each other’s company. They didn’t speak much but they didn’t have to. They stopped at each of the 18 attractions, dragging out the day as long as possible and laughing at the otters or the tourists who seemed so fascinated by the seaweed. Together they were safe, invulnerable, at peace.
After a quick dinner they went back to the room where they lay in bed with the tv on in the background and just talked, laughed, and enjoyed each others company. Lying on his back with Courtney curled up next to him, Johnny just stared into the blackness. The clock struck 12, bringing around a new day. 8-19-2010, the last they would ever spend together.
8-19-2010
Barefoot, they walked down the hill to one of the many beaches in Monterey, CA. The smell was the first thing Johnny noticed. The smell of seaweed and salt water. The smell of every beach. “Beaches always smell the same way” he repeated out loud.
“Yeah, but I like it” Courtney replied.
“I guess you gotta if you wanna be a marine biologist,” Johnny said, grabbing her hand and leading her down to the beach. They’d been going out for almost three years now, but they’d gotten into different colleges on opposite sides of the country so they had less than a week left in the life of their relationship. Johnny was painfully aware of this and always kept it in the back of his mind. This weekend down the coast was their last alone time together. Ever. “C’mon lets go climb the rocks, maybe there are some tide pools up there,” Johnny called back as he started up the rocks.
Sitting on the edge of the rocks was a little like sitting on the edge of the world. The brown of the earth hitting the blues and greens of the sea for the first time. “The ocean is so big. The world is SO big. Do you ever think about that Court? We drove more than 100 miles today, more than we could ever explore in a lifetime, and that was nothing” Johnny blurted out. He always said what was on his mind without thinking it through, something Courtney had become accustomed to.
“Yeah, I’ve thought about it” was all she said, almost in a whisper, drawing herself tighter into his arms. They fell silent, looking out at the water, both wondering how they would manage the next four years and beyond.
They cruised down the winding 18-mile-drive, taking in the scenery and enjoying each other’s company. They didn’t speak much but they didn’t have to. They stopped at each of the 18 attractions, dragging out the day as long as possible and laughing at the otters or the tourists who seemed so fascinated by the seaweed. Together they were safe, invulnerable, at peace.
After a quick dinner they went back to the room where they lay in bed with the tv on in the background and just talked, laughed, and enjoyed each others company. Lying on his back with Courtney curled up next to him, Johnny just stared into the blackness. The clock struck 12, bringing around a new day. 8-19-2010, the last they would ever spend together.