Visiting friends

[Jerrybaldy]

There was something about you
that hot summer of '76.
Family friends for a weekend stay.
Something in your kiss
and in your eyes.
The sofa was our teenage bed
whilst your parents and mine
went drinking and left us alone.
You protested as I touched your breast
through cardigan, blouse and bra,
but through dimmer switch,
whispers and ballads
I unwrapped your three fabrics.
The parents were having a great night
dancing with eachothers partners
my father holding your mother close.
I teased you into my mouth
there was something about it
like a long lost feed.
I rose my face to yours
looked into your familiar eyes
covered your breasts
and kissed your cheek goodnight.

[Delta40]

Groping memories of teenage love...always makes my cheeks flush as my own memories gush to the surface....

[dafydd manton]

I'm so glad I'm too old to remember......her name was Susan, she lived at No 16, long blonde hair, we went Youth Hostelling together...............

[Jerrybaldy]

Thanks maties, you both missed something, which must have been more subtle than I thought .....

[Delta40]

oh man, I can't handle cryptic poems on a public holiday!

[Jerrybaldy]

Have added an extra clue to go easy on your public holiday :)

[Haunted]

is she...er...a he?

[zoolane]

You protested as I touched your breast


The parents were having a great night
dancing with eachothers partners
my father holding your mother close.
.

Might be way off here but teenager raped other teenager and parents casual swapping partners in summer of free love.

[Delta40]

ack this could get ugly. Like Zoo said, imitating the parent swapping behaviour or (drum roll) she was your half sister!

[zoolane]

ack this could get ugly. Like Zoo said, imitating the parent swapping behaviour or (drum roll) she was your half sister!

Oh yeah I missed that bit well done you Delta :)

[zoolane]

The girl.

She has long flow, hair with hint of wave.
Her lips are thin, colour of candy pink.
Long, slender body, is out called me.
Her brown hair rest on her elegantly on chest.

Her chest is huggable like pillow.
Her waist is petite wearing a mini skirt.
Her thighs look silk and smooth to touch.
She Leather boots up to her knees.
I feel quiver of excited creep over me.

Wait....... she going in the dark door, shall I follow her? The Girl.

[Delta40]

How tempting Zoo. I'm sure Jerry would follow her!

[hillwalker]

I thought she might even just be his sister - 'your father' and 'your mother' actually being husband and wife and the frisky couple's parents?? Itwould explain the familiar look in their eyes and the 'long lost feed'. But I would not have been looking for any hidden agenda had Jerry not told us he was being cryptic.

H

[Delta40]

Mmm perhaps but Jerry might incest we are mistaken...that being said, its still a good poem - whatever the interpretation.

[symphony]

Erm, the hints at incest by the others are making me shift in my chair a bit uncomfortably. But without looking for cryptic messages in this poem, it still works fine for me. As Delta mentioned, it still is a good poem, whatever the interpretation. :thumbs_up

P.S. And oh I dont understand it too if it is about incest. The title says visiting friends, and the poem clearly talks about family friends coming along to stay over in the weekend.

[Jerrybaldy]

Drum Roll..... Delta was right with the half sister. The narrator is unaware that he is with his half sister due to his fathers indiscretions with her mother. The end of the poem signifies some deep feeling inside him that being with her is familiar like family and the last stanza is supposed to show him treating her like a sister and covering her and kissing her cheek. I was aware that their parents could appear to be the same people misleading the reader into thinking this is knowing incest between brother and sister, but no matter how I wrote it nothing would remove the possibility of it being read that way.
It was an attempt at writing in the style of Hill, particularly, with clues inside the poem as to the nature of the underlying story. It is most likely a failure as the clues were maybe too subtle and I can see from all your kind comments above that the whole thing could have been taken without the true story ever emerging.

Its based on truth as I had a brief fling a family friend visiting, but in my case it was twenty years later over a pint with my father that I found out she may well be my half sister.

cheers good peeps
Jerry
P.S Zoo, it would be hard not to follow anybody into the dark door :)

[Delta40]

What's the prize?

[zoolane]

Wow some fling you had. I am sorry by little intrude on your thread

[zoolane]

The girl.

She long flow, hair with hint of wave.
Her lips are thin, colour of candy pink.
Long, slender body, is out called me.
Her brown hair rest on her elegantly on chest.

Chest is huggable like pillow.
Waist is petite wearing a mini skirt.
Thighs look silk and smooth to touch.
Leather boots up to her knees.
I feel quiver of excited creep over me.

Wait....... she going in the dark door, shall I follow her? The Girl.

Thighs look silk and smooth to touch.
But question how does he know about her thighs? and is lust or obsession?

[Jerrybaldy]

Not an intrude at all Zoo, a great little poem and most welcome on the thread.
Delta. I am not speaking to you. This response is not here :P

[Jerrybaldy]

I was once asked if it was love lust or obssession zoo. We are divorced now :D

[zoolane]

Thankyou Jerry ooooo Delta look big surprize for you on way.

[Delta40]

Option 1. trail after him stumbling as I plead for his forgiveness.
Option 2. Say meh and move on
Option 3. Talk to me about it when you're ready Jerry
Option 4. LMAO
Option 5. None of the above

[zoolane]

I was once asked if it was love lust or obssession zoo. We are divorced now :D


Hmm Personal begin as lust, obsession some cases love dare I said.

[dafydd manton]

Don't life stink, sometimes!!!!! Powerful stuff, Jerry. Superb expression, almost makes me cringe with the pain of the whole thing, which is a good reaction, in the circumstances.

[Jerrybaldy]

You lost me there zoo :)

[zoolane]

Now relationship begin for men or women.

[Delta40]

You lost me there zoo :)

How come every room in this house I wander into you're there??? Restraining order that prevents you posting within two posts of me on its way..... :smilielol5:

[Jerrybaldy]

Oops.