Trying
09-26-2010, 05:56 PM
Hello there, ive been writing for several years but not many people have seen what i wirte. A select few people in my life have read a select few poems or essays i choose to let them read, but now i feel the time has come to put myself fully out there. Problem is i do not feel secure sharing my work with the people around me quite yet, a bit of stage fright or fear of putting myself on the line comes in to play and i cant do it. So im going to try it here and hopefully receive plenty of criticism that will hellp to make me a better and more confident writer. Here are the first poems i will be posting on here.
We wake up in the morning and feel the sun, walk through the park in the afternoon and feel its burn, and when it goes down over our town that same night we sigh.
Please come see me in the light, the residents of evil hide in the shadows while i listen to the rain falling inside. Give me the chance to feel, the chance to know how and why things become the way we dont want them to be. I hear their thoughts but can not make out their words. Wisdom defines us and how we dream. We of the forgotten past who seek to know the answers from the mortal kings. Lying and waiting for the days surprise, the moment when the skies align. i feel my chance coming srong but i see it glide by and am now left alone.
I see her walking in my dreams, stepping over the mountains and the sea. With a big step she strats to fly as i start to cry. She truns back to me and with a smile she says, " dont be scared when the night comes on us, daylight will break soon enough."
Well criticism is greatly appreciated, any and all.
"The desert
-roseate metallic blue
& insect green
blank mirrors &
pools of silver
a universe in
one body"
-Jim Morrison
We wake up in the morning and feel the sun, walk through the park in the afternoon and feel its burn, and when it goes down over our town that same night we sigh.
Please come see me in the light, the residents of evil hide in the shadows while i listen to the rain falling inside. Give me the chance to feel, the chance to know how and why things become the way we dont want them to be. I hear their thoughts but can not make out their words. Wisdom defines us and how we dream. We of the forgotten past who seek to know the answers from the mortal kings. Lying and waiting for the days surprise, the moment when the skies align. i feel my chance coming srong but i see it glide by and am now left alone.
I see her walking in my dreams, stepping over the mountains and the sea. With a big step she strats to fly as i start to cry. She truns back to me and with a smile she says, " dont be scared when the night comes on us, daylight will break soon enough."
Well criticism is greatly appreciated, any and all.
"The desert
-roseate metallic blue
& insect green
blank mirrors &
pools of silver
a universe in
one body"
-Jim Morrison