She Goes To Honor Them

[Dastan]

Only the harvest moon lights her path
As stray leaves blow across her feet
Her beautiful bare feet
Nails painted blood red
Her subtle way to honor the dead
Red dress flowing
Her train like a servant
Following her master
Jet black hair
Frames a pale white face
Red lips slightly parted
Her full chest rises and falls
Eyes straight ahead
Her arms wistfuly swing at her sides
Into the cemetery she walks
Slowly
Respectfuly
To show honor to those...
Who were once among us


Dastan

[hillwalker]

A very atmospheric piece of poetry - I'm not 100% certain who 'she' is but in my mind's eye I pictured her as the personification of autumn or winter. Evocative writing.

H

[blank|verse]

An interesting poem. The figure that walks the cemetery strikes an incongruous shape, slightly gothic and quite sexual, with her 'full chest' and 'parted red lips'. It makes me wonder if she's the personification of death; although she is 'honouring' the dead, something Death doesn't usually have the time nor inclination for!

The nails being 'blood red' also links with this theme, but also suggests quite nicely the red poppies of John McCrae's 'In Flanders Fields' for example.

It's quite prosey - the lines are phrases and as such don't have any real flow to them. And the rhymes in the first few lines (feet - feet; red - dead) seem accidental rather than anything more.

But an original take on war poetry and a good first post, Dastan.

[PrinceMyshkin]

I was wholly intrigued by this portrait; of course I wanted to be able to guess at who she was or what she symbolized but was more than content with the aura that followed or surrounded her.

A promising first post which, I predict, will be followed by others. Welcome to the Forum.

[Skia]

Ooohh Mystery surrounding what she is or who she is... Me Likey :)

[Dastan]

Thanks for the comment :) I was trying to keep "her" as mysterious as possible.

[Dastan]

I appreciate that warm welcome.