Lilyclover

[chimney_swift]

Lilly was a girl I never knew. She was tall, she had long sandy blonde hair. There was something about her that made her seem anxious, she always seemed to be worried about something. My guess was that she cared very much about how others thought of her. I liked her mannerisms and her voice and the way she spoke.

I think she was a tomboy. She was very willful and very strong. She tried to hide how emotional she was. To me she was very beautiful and very feminine. She was afraid of so many things.

When I met her the first time we spoke through letters and it went very badly and she did not think very much of me. I was very nervous and it became more than it ever should have been. I don't think she forgave me.

The second time there was much deception and much distrust. The feeling was better and and we tried to put each other in ease but we wanted the other to do more than we could. I saw a side to her and I knew her problems and why people might mistreat her. She already knew all of my secrets.

I felt very badly for her and I did not feel so bad for myself. I wonder now if we will ever understand each other but I think we will not. The hope is fading but I know it will always be there. It is not bad thing.

[hillwalker]

There's a lot of ambiguity in this - much of it intentional I'm sure, to make Lily seem enigmatic.

It's just a rather strange concept - to concentrate on a description of someone who hardly seems to have any substance. And the history between Lily and the narrator is also elusive with tantalising hints of what might have happened but not a single actual fact.

I'm still pondering over that opening sentence - in my reading it suggests the narrator didn't know Lily at all (so how could he write so much about her?) rather than not knowing her particularly well.

Perhaps you meant to write 'Lily was a girl I never really knew' or 'Lily was a girl I never knew that well'..... just a thought.

H