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Delta40
09-24-2010, 05:21 PM
George was a merchant navy seaman
burly, loud with a Liverpudlian accent
who ate irish stew with a fried egg on top
His head stayed bent over the newspaper
while he slurped his tinned breakfast
He would start to cough a lifetime of cigarettes
till bits of food landed in my weet-bix
but I was not allowed to complain
his spoon scraped the bottom of the bowl
as he gobbled up the remains like a pig
My weet-bix would go soggy as I tried
to hold back my rising nausea
George guzzled his tea and farted
until his coughing became more severe
He choked '****!'
then rose up and regurgitated the stew
into the kitchen sink where my mother
stood making his lunch
At night I could hear their bedhead
knocking against my wall as she
gave him his fill of pleasure
she moaned dutifully in time
with his sweaty grunting
till finally he belched and rolled off
the sprawled remains of my mother
and vomited in the bathroom sink

Delta40
09-24-2010, 05:46 PM
this sounds more like story telling than poetry

dafydd manton
09-24-2010, 06:43 PM
That is so dark, so painful and I hope fictitious!!!! Superb, although disturbing in the extreme. Very well done, Delta, on a piece that doesn't sit comfortably but promotes a lot of thought. And, I have to say, pity.

Delta40
09-24-2010, 06:45 PM
its true. Jerry's Sorry Dad poem inspired me

Jerrybaldy
09-24-2010, 07:26 PM
The truth rang out throughout. Sometimes they are hard to spot but some poems here could never be fiction. I hope George found ..... well nothing any good really.
You captured his every endearement.
vegimites
JerryB

Delta40
09-24-2010, 07:29 PM
you'd have to ask him. my mum still heats irish stew for him in the morning...

Jerrybaldy
09-24-2010, 07:33 PM
Hope she spits on the egg on top ;)

Delta40
09-24-2010, 07:38 PM
I'm sure they deserve the happiness they say they share.....

Jerrybaldy
09-24-2010, 07:43 PM
karma. Our joint effort is setting the sky on fire here :D

Delta40
09-25-2010, 05:13 PM
That is so dark, so painful and I hope fictitious!!!! Superb, although disturbing in the extreme. Very well done, Delta, on a piece that doesn't sit comfortably but promotes a lot of thought. And, I have to say, pity.

I don't know about painful. Some poetry can only be written when I wear my child eyes. thanks for commenting

zoolane
09-25-2010, 05:20 PM
George guzzled his tea and farted
until his coughing became more severe
He choked '****!'


That was my dad all time.

Sometime it easy to put on 'child hat' on when I am write, also bring back painful times but sometimes they are best poems.

PrinceMyshkin
09-25-2010, 07:55 PM
this sounds more like story telling than poetry

Since when are the two mutually exclusive? In any case the proper criterion in my view is whether this is good story-telling/poetry and - by God! - it is! And morally outraged with very good reason!

Congratulations.

kittypaws
09-25-2010, 08:34 PM
Wow! Delta....very strong, almost a too visual write! I am sorry to hear this was a part of your life. Anyway, I think it is great as it caught my attention and made me say whoa and send you vibes for a blessed life.

Kittypaws

Delta40
09-25-2010, 09:35 PM
Zoo, thanks for understanding
Prince - You're right about poetry and story telling. thanks for reminding me
KittyPaws - thanks for your input. Its appreciated.