October Love

[Lamar Cole]

The moon just peeked from behind the trees.
At you and I darling on our carpet of leaves.
Your love is sweet like ripe fruit.
As our passion takes root.

The wind blew just right tonight.
The stars shone from heaven above.
Lovely as a dove.
October love.

[dafydd manton]

Lovely little piece, very tender but with a hint of a gentle lust. I like this very much.

[blank|verse]

Hang on, we haven't finished with September yet!

This is a sweet little piece, Lamar and I liked the organic metaphor in the first stanza; that the characters' passion 'takes root' is a nice touch. I don't think you need the full stop and the end of the first line. And the rhyme scheme works well, but it does leave a rather cliched image in the seventh line, which leaves for a rather weak ending. Nice poem, though.

[RaoulDuke]

This poem gets a hearty thumbs up from me; partly due to the standard of the poem itself, which is of course wonderful, but also because it reminds me of one of my favorite Cat Stevens songs:

There we laid, cool in the shade
Singing songs and making love,
With the naked earth beneath us
And the universe above.

Thank you for sharing.