Finding Armageddon

[babylonsfalling]

Finding Armageddon

The sounds of Armageddon heard,
but not from distant land.
Much closer have the rumblings stirred,
the battle nigh at hand.

For daily are our Spirits tried
whence forces yet again
engage the battle prophesied
in hearts of fallen men.

Therein we see the battlefield
of ancient prophecy,
where flesh or Spirit come to yield
to shape our destiny

Revelation 19:11-20

[hillwalker]

You can probably already guess what I'm going to say - this is your best so far, not only because it's written in a more formal 'poetic' style (regular rhythm and rhyme) but also it conveys its message in a more palatable form.

I'm not suggesting a writer should dumb-down for his readers, but Biblical pronouncements in Old Testament language will be ignored by most of us on here even before we take the trouble to read the entire post.

The only thing missing now is the writer's voice - we don't really get to engage with you, discover the motivation behind your need to create such poems. One assumes you feel strongly about what you write but it's hard to actually find evidence of it here. Without that personal element most readers will dismiss this as a rather cold recycling of a Biblical text.

But I for one appreciate the efforts you are putting in to make your writing more accessible.

H