Passion. Love poem I think.

[zoolane]

Passion flourish, combine their emotions, melted cold air.
Entwined their souls, both frames quiver with excitement.
Storm is brewed in sky, concealed the sun rise.

Tempest start her revenge, gust of wind.
Striking old oak, plummet toward the souls.
Still mesh together, neglecting forth come of oak.

Fragment of the souls, still are see and heard in woods.

[hillwalker]

Love poem I think...... me too.

That phrase 'melted cold air' is a very original way of describing the heat and passion of love.

I'm not sure whether that final line is meant to be part of the poem or a comment you have added at the end but it is probably unnecessary.

H

[zoolane]

Still needed though to some of words.

I am still not happy with the structure of the lines (flow of words) in some part of it.

[dafydd manton]

I'm no expert Zoo, but in my honest opinion, first, it is a love poem, and secondly I wouldn't change a thing. Your style is perfect for this, and as Hill pointed out the phrases used are exceptional. I really enjoyed it, particularly the image of the Oak.

Suggestion: Don't tell us you aren't happy with bits, because you don't need to. None of us are ever entirely happy, I suspect, with what we write, but have the confidence to go with it, and don't put yourself down!!!

[Haunted]

Lovely language. This immediately tells me it's a love poem:

Entwined their souls, both frames quiver with excitement.

[zoolane]

:blush2: I did not my 1st love poem get so many nice comments.