Bas Couture

[Hawkman]

This victim of a crime of fashion,
whose piercings deflate all passion
with skin a canvass for tattoos,
is wearing really ugly shoes;
a shame, because her legs are long,
unlike her skirt, which shows her thong
when every little breath of wind
will lift her hem, inviting sin.

Whatever happened to the waist,
the hourglass figure, pure and chaste?
Now it always seems to be
just below the breasts, to me.
There is no fleeting chance of beauty,
with ugliness a woman’s duty,
forcing her to choose her frock
with only the intent to shock.

She dresses to attend a wedding,
choosing more for ease of shedding
than to stimulate the eye.
It makes an aesthete want to cry.
Are nighties for a baby doll,
fit raiment in the light of sol?
And when a size or two too small
I want to curl into a ball,
averting eyes to spare my sight,
the bulging harridan’s ghastly plight.

Once elegance was all the rage
in that far distant, tasteful age,
when beauty wanted to adorn
a lovely woman’s shapely form.
For then, when man beheld a girl,
he wanted to let love unfurl
but now its really all a sham:
Fancy a shag? No thank you mam…

[dafydd manton]

I think we older gentlemen ought to stick together! I couldn't agree more, whatever happened to femininity! (And you may call me a chauvinist if you wish).

Every single word gets my vote, Hawk.

[hillwalker]

Size zero and all those outlandish dresses designed to frighten horses rather than attract the eye - as well as Jordanesque excesses at the other end of the scale. Bring back elegant curves and the mini skirt!

A great poem Hawk - but can I be churlish and point out a couple of minor glitches?

Line 2's scansion goes slightly awry ('piercings' as a 3-syllable word reads rather forced - perhaps 'pierced parts' or something along the same line?)

and v3

Can a nightie for a baby doll,
be fit raiment in the light of sol?

stumbles again because we have to place the stresses in the wrong place

possibly - 'Can nighties for a baby doll / be fit attire for light of sol?'

just a thought.....

You do a great job here, striking hits left, right and centre with your rapier wit.

H

[Bar22do]

What a regretful generalisation, however witty and skilful. It's as they say, reality is in the eyes of the beholder...

Does this:

Once elegance was all the rage
in that far distant, tasteful age,
when beauty wanted to adorn
a lovely woman’s shapely form.
For then, when man beheld a girl,
he wanted to let love unfurl
but now its really all a sham:
Fancy a shag? No thank you mam…


allude to corsets-times? I assure you there must have been passion deflating moments once the corset off, leave alone the wig (both genders).

What's the matter with your relations to women, I wonder. I think it'd be soothing for you if you went to a bookshop!

Be well.

[Hawkman]

Dafydd, Thanks for that, oh, and the original meaning of Chauvinist was, patriot :D

hill, Sorry, I was forgotting you are Welsh :D I don't know how you pronounce piercings but personally I pronounce all the vowels. If you read it out loud, or at least when I do, it sounds fine. Your other quibble, vis. nightie has some merit. I will change it to:

Are nighties for a baby doll
fit raiment in the light of sol?

which does scan better.

Sweet Bar, You seem not to approve of my latest offering. Trust me, when you have seen as many women at weddings as I have, dressed inappropriately for their shape and trying to get laid, you might be more forgiving of my little verse. :D

In answer to your other query, vis period, one doesn't need to go that far back. Only a few years really. This season's fashions are, however, particularly vile. Being subjected to acres of bulging, naked, flesh, (with fake, or real tan optional) displaying faded tattoos, which is bursting out of a dress at least one size too small, is not my idea of a pleasent experience. You are obviously fortunate enough only to encounter the beautiful people :D

Oi! Bookshop, schmookshop!

Live and be well :D H

[dafydd manton]

Ah, dear Hawk, I realised that, and I don't do blind patriotism, no, I was using it in the modern idiom, but no less bellicose for all that. I can still remember the first mini-skirt I ever saw, girl called Miranda Bradley, legs any Tight-Head Prop Forward would have been proud of. Sometimes, I still wake up in the night, terrified......

[Hawkman]

Thanks for sharing that, Daf :D

[dafydd manton]

A problem shared is a problem halved - now you can have the nightmares as well!!!!

[Delta40]

I think we older gentlemen ought to stick together! I couldn't agree more, whatever happened to femininity!

it went out of fashion along with chivalry :-)

Nice observation Hawk although I can't address the facade of civility without giving it some thought.

[dafydd manton]

Oh, the age of chivalry ain't dead yet, Delta, it may be couging up blood, but it ain't dead by a long way.

[Hawkman]

Nice observation Hawk although I can't address the facade of civility without giving it some thought.

Sorry Delta, what facade of civility would that be? The polite request for intercourse, or the tactful reply? :devil:

Live and be well. H

[PrinceMyshkin]

Imagine if you will my having read (and much enjoyed) this just a few moments after having struggled my way through the last of the self-identified 'cleverness' of The French Lieutenant's Woman!

[Hawkman]

I have not read the book myself, but if it is as tedious as the film was, then my diatribe against contemporary women's fashion must have come as something of a relief. So thank you for the compliment :D

Best, H

[Delta40]

Sorry Delta, what facade of civility would that be? The polite request for intercourse, or the tactful reply? :devil:

Live and be well. H

lol. I suddenly have a headache