A Caged Skylark ~~ For Skia

[angliholic]

The torrential rains brought by a typhoon
cloak my window with thousand layers of rain curtains,
blocking my veiw,
and confining me to my small world.

Suddenly, I feel like a caged skylark:
Being far away from home in nature for too long,
I've forgotten how to live in a meadow,
how to smell the green grass and the sweet flowers,
and how to sing the song passed down from my anscestors
high in the azure sky!

[hillwalker]

This has your trademark touch of finding beauty in the simple things - I love the image of 'rain curtains'.

But that last line reads rather uncomforably

in the azure sky high!

because having 'sky' and 'high' next to each other forces the reader to pause after the word 'sky' - and the two are so close to each other that the rhyme loses its effectiveness.
Perhaps 'high in the azure sky' would read better and make more subtle use of internal rhyme......? just a passing thought.

H

[angliholic]

This has your trademark touch of finding beauty in the simple things - I love the image of 'rain curtains'.

But that last line reads rather uncomforably

in the azure sky high!

because having 'sky' and 'high' next to each other forces the reader to pause after the word 'sky' - and the two are so close to each other that the rhyme loses its effectiveness.
Perhaps 'high in the azure sky' would read better and make more subtle use of internal rhyme......? just a passing thought.

H

Thanks, Hillwalkers, for the kind words and advice!

I couldn't agree with you more!

[aliengirl]

Your love for Nature is really admirable Angli. It gives a feel that your soul is in communion with Nature.
The image of "rain curtains" reminds me of the monsoon rain we have here. Lovely poem as always!

[dafydd manton]

How anybody can get so much emotion and so much feeling in to so few words is beyond me! You amaze me every time, and the analogy of the caged bird losing its freedom is as sharp as a scalpel. Thanks for another great poem.

[angliholic]

Your love for Nature is really admirable Angli. It gives a feel that your soul is in communion with Nature.
The image of "rain curtains" reminds me of the monsoon rain we have here. Lovely poem as always!

Thanks, AG, for the admirable feedback!
I'm thinking it's about time that I wrote something for you!


How anybody can get so much emotion and so much feeling in to so few words is beyond me! You amaze me every time, and the analogy of the caged bird losing its freedom is as sharp as a scalpel. Thanks for another great poem.

Thanks, Daffy, for the kind words from such a kind man!

I really enjoy your romantic and love poems!
Keep writing more; I'm learning from your great pieces!

[Skia]

When I read your poems,
I can just imagine every word you write,
You make me feel one with nature,
and where I live there is hardly any,
for I live in a city where smoke and pollution fills my azure sky!

Your work is honestly refreshing, which calms me deeply, and I love you for that!

And I think it's about time I write something for you Ang!
Give me time, as I want it to be perfect!

:)

[angliholic]

When I read your poems,
I can just imagine every word you write,
You make me feel one with nature,
and where I live there is hardly any,
for I live in a city where smoke and pollution fills my azure sky!

Your work is honestly refreshing, which calms me deeply, and I love you for that!

And I think it's about time I write something for you Ang!
Give me time, as I want it to be perfect!

:)

Oh! My dear Skia,
You sent me on the cloud nine with those kind words
though I know clearly I'm still in the learning!

You and your poems are as good as perfect now
as you're such a marvellous student of poetry!

But take your time!

We have ages and ages in our hands!

Best regards,