My Last Sail

[miyako73]

My Last Sail



Tomorrow my torn fishing nets
will forever rest by the window.
I will no longer tie the new string
to the rusting hook and sinker.
I will turn my canoe upside down
under the solitary poisonous tree.
My broken paddles will be fuel
to the fire of my flaming stove.

I have been to all ripples of the sea
that whispered their desolate sorrow.
I have dived into the spiral depth
in the middle of the darkest blue.
I have swum the strongest waves
that brought me to the cold morning.
I have drowned in the wild winds
that kissed the sad face of the moon.

I cannot see the shimmer of the sun
where the birds build their nests.
The blackest grey of the doleful night
swallows what are left of the stars.
Every step I make is a heavy weight
locking down my feet against my walk.
I now hope to sail in my dream of omens
the clouds I still feel above the horizon.

[dafydd manton]

A piece depicting some kind of liberation, maybe from a lifetime of drudgery, maybe a lost love? I don't know, but I do know that I love the phraseology, especially "I have drowned in the wild winds that kiss the face of the moon". Thank you for a moment of pure pleasure.

[miyako73]

Thanks, Dafydd. You were right. I played around the sad tale of an ageing fisherman hardened, crippled and then "abandoned" by what he loved-- the sea.

[dafydd manton]

The Cruel Sea - probably the cruellest mistress known to man! Lover one minute, whore the next. Brilliant!

[hillwalker]

Beautiflly written - the sad surrender in the first verse does a wonderful job of setting the scene.

But my favourite verse has to be the second where the narrator relives his finest hours and takes us with him.

As well as the end of his life as a fisherman one senses that perhaps the sea has abandoned him as well.

H

[Bar22do]

hmmm... I believe the sea doesn't abandon anyone, but there's a time one needs to stop measuring oneself with the element. I read your beautiful poem as one on acceptance of limits, however regretful. The old fisherman can still contemplate the sea and thus be with it as long as his life perdures...

[Delta40]

you've written this so eloquently. I especially feel the finality of life at sea when the paddles are used to fire the stove

[PrinceMyshkin]

under the tree that fruits poison

is an awkward line, though I've no idea how you might fix it, and V3, l5 is awkward as well, all the more so, in both cases, because of the fine imagery and the elegance of the rest of the poem.

[miyako73]

thanks, Prince. I needed to put that poisonous tree since fishermen use it to stun fish, but I just could not make a deeper line, so I reverted to my original one. Thanks! Indeed simplicity is beauty.

[kittypaws]

I applaud how you can bring such truth to something you do not do....a gift indeed! Well written, the point brought across and experienced

kittypaws