The Fan Maiden

[Dark Muse]

The Fan Maiden

There is no refuge
from the mystery of your eyes,
they invite ruthlessly
as you remain concealed
behind your oriental fans.

Splayed like peacock feathers
you pridefully wear your
bold colors, dancing the tango
in the rain.

But coyly you do not reveal
the truth behind silk flowers
woven delicately as they dance
through the air like butterfly wings
within your pale fingers.

Helplessly wandering your gardens,
you never rest your guard,
I could only pray for a chance
to be your slave, wielding
palm ferns on balmy summer nights.

While your laughter, warm
as a spring breeze still chills me,
quivering behind the unmovable
screen.

You restore your youth
upon the unquenched desires
and yearning hopes of the
besotted.

We are oysters you harvest,
our hearts pearls you pluck out
discarding the dull remains.

Yet you rob yourself,
alone behind your ornamented fans
only the moon and your
vanity glass ever peer upon
your beauty.

[hillwalker]

Some exquisite lines here DM - and the imagery is both vivid and fitting.
I especially like the penultimate verse - the 'oysters/pearls' analogy is brilliant.

A couple of very minor points (as usual for me) -

I don't think you need 'pridefully' in v2 ('peacock' conveys it all far more subtly)

and the line break in the final verse - separating 'vanity' and 'glass' left me reading 'vanity' as a noun then 'glass' as a verb which didn't make sense as the line continued -

only the moon and your vanity glass
ever peer upon
your beauty

makes more sense imho.

H

[Dark Muse]

Thank you!

[dafydd manton]

I get the feeling of a cold, remote beauty, judging everyone else, yet those being judged are dedicated, as byou said, besotted. I like this very much.