A free-flying kite

[angliholic]

When each bird flies softly by,
waving goodbye to the moody blue, sailing serenely
to a greener dreamland,
and leaving me but a pile of lonesome clouds,
how I wish
to be able to cut off the line
that's tied to my kite!

One day
when finally I am free
from the hand that holds the line of my fate,
I wonder whether I'll be flying freely
like a bird or falling
like a free-flying kite from the top
of the world!

[Delta40]

what a sweet way to emerge from your dark side Ang!

[hillwalker]

A really great poem as far as the imaginative idea behind it is concerned - I just found the opening 2 lines a little sickly (too many internal -y rhymes that thankfully disappear once it gets going)

H

[angliholic]

what a sweet way to emerge from your dark side Ang!
Thanks, Delta, for the sweet feedback!
I feel so comfortable to go back on my old path!


A really great poem as far as the imaginative idea behind it is concerned - I just found the opening 2 lines a little sickly (too many internal -y rhymes that thankfully disappear once it gets going)

H

Thanks, Hillwalker, for the great feedback and adice!
I've reworded it a bit as you suggested!

[Skia]

How lovely :)

Love it once again Ang! :)

x

[dafydd manton]

Nice touch Ang! Welcome back from the dark side, I much prefer this You! Delicate as thistledown, this poem, thanks.

[angliholic]

How lovely :)

Love it once again Ang! :)

x
Thanks, Skia, for your lovely feedback!
But when it comes to being lovely,
my scribbling is second to your lovely bud!


Nice touch Ang! Welcome back from the dark side, I much prefer this You! Delicate as thistledown, this poem, thanks.

Thanks, Daffy, for your delicate comment!

Delicate as thistledown!
I love this sweet wording of yours!

[aliengirl]

One day
when finally I am free
from the hand that holds the line of my fate,
I wonder whether I'll be flying freely
like a bird or falling
like a free-flying kite from the top
of the world!



I wonder too. Ang, you really know how to express such deep thoughts in the simplest and loveliest way.

[Skia]

"But when it comes to being lovely,
my scribbling is second to your lovely bud!"

Don't speak so silly!
My words cannot compare to yours !

:)

[angliholic]

I wonder too. Ang, you really know how to express such deep thoughts in the simplest and loveliest way.

Thanks, AG, for your loveliest feedback!
I really appreciate your nice words!


"But when it comes to being lovely,
my scribbling is second to your lovely bud!"

Don't speak so silly!
My words cannot compare to yours !

:)

You're humble and pretty!