Real Time

[Jerrybaldy]

Write.
stop writing.
Inhale. wonder about lung cancer.
remember the man you used to know
who now touches his throat
to speak like stephen hawkings
poorer brother.
visit toilet
see face reflected in the water
race the flush
who will win
always fun to be had
return to laptop
wonder what it would be like
if all these friends were sat around this table
wonder when I will leave these friends
or if they will go first
think I am being deltaesque
thinking second posting same day
shehe is gonna get me
remembers its my weekend daughters
14th birthday tomorrow
and i have missed my usual trick
of texting at 12.01
crap dad feeling
will over compansate in someway
tomorrow
what do these people
behind the avatars look like?
does it matter?
Why do I love 1948 so much?
If I should die befor I wake
how many hours, days,
before I become a happy memory
did i make a difference
was the difference different enough
to matter at all
were 80 lengths of that pool
enough to compensate
for all the other ways
I kill my health
pours wine
its good for the heart
does smoking really make you impotent
no signs yet
can still make a good tent
in the mornings
and what of poetry
are we poets
is there a certificate you get
mines in the post
gonna gather both families around
like that is possible
when that lands on the mat
my dad,son,brother,cousin,nephew
made good
he writes stuff
that some people like to read.

[Delta40]

You have really brewed a magnificent stew here jerry. switiching between real time and virtual time, your compote of thoughts are a tangle of wonder. I wonder too.

overcompensate daughter
for saying she's useless
because I care so much
about her wellbeing....

[hillwalker]

This makes a fantastic job of corralling all those negative/insecure thoughts that tend to creep upon is in the wee small hours into a single howl of anguish.

I've read it half a dozen times already and it will probably ring inside my skull for the rest of the day. The tortured artist at his best.

[angliholic]

Real time!
Real stuff!
Really good poem!
Jerry, way to go!

[dafydd manton]

*Spends long time identifying with old mate Jerry*

Thanks, chum. Belter. Absolute Belter!

Daf

[PrinceMyshkin]

You ought to be proud of this. Indeed, you ought to be proud of being the honest, brave self you revealed in this poem - YES, it is a poem. Bravo!

[Jerrybaldy]

Bloody hell, didnt expect that.
Thanks all.
I wrote in free flow, in real time, forgetting all punctuation, grammar, capitalisation etc, late at night, as Hill picked up and following a few glasses of red. Random thoughts went straight on to the page and I was expecting a hammering when I just checked for comments.
I can see ways it could be cleaned up and improved, but I think for this case it will stay just as it is.
Thanks for finding worth within it.
best wishes
Jerry

[zoolane]

Lovely poem, I think it reflect your worrying about serious of your current position.

[PrinceMyshkin]

Bloody hell, didnt expect that.
Thanks all.
I wrote in free flow, in real time, forgetting all punctuation, grammar, capitalisation etc,

Heck, ANYONE can do that! Next time, try one without verbs, nouns, articles, adjectives, adverbs or prepositions.

[Jerrybaldy]

Zoo. You are absolutely right. You stunned me with that comment as I didnt even see it myself. I am very concerned about my current situation, although I didnt write of it.
Jerry

Prince
No worries, my next poem entitled 'Pye' will deal with that ;)

[zoolane]

Jerry, sometime people write things or draw objects which seem random to creater but it not in true. When creater realize for themself and maybe acceptance can happened.

[Jerrybaldy]

You are fascinating zoo.

[Delta40]

you're a star in real time Jerry!

[Haunted]

I wrote in free flow, in real time, forgetting all punctuation, grammar, capitalisation etc, late at night, as Hill picked up and following a few glasses of red. Random thoughts went straight on to the page and I was expecting a hammering when I just checked for comments.
I can see ways it could be cleaned up and improved, but I think for this case it will stay just as it is.

Don't change a thing, see where your stream of consciousness takes you, and in this one we got to see the real Jerry as he's hitting those keys. OK, let's talk about trying some patches...next, what is it about 1948?