A Raven Black Poem ~ in response to my friend, Jerry's request

[angliholic]

Fickle clouds constantly emerge like black ravens
out of nowhere,
hide the cheerful sun without warning,
and hover over my miserable world like scavengers
without mercy!

This world has been under vilest weather for too long;
is there a need
for me to shed more pitch black upon it
or to caw like a scarecrow?
I really wonder!

As curse the darkness around the world,
I might as well light up a candle!

[adityasam]

WOW! The First Stanza was magnificent I was grasped in to the nucleus of the poem, by the very first line. On the other hand, the other stanzas were also superb. Being superb is very easy for you Angli. Thanks for this charming and philosophical, natural and spontaneously presented poem.

Regards!

[Jerrybaldy]

Ahh my dark Angliholic.... you should try to be more positive :D :D
Only joking of course. I loved your step into the dark, thanks for taking the plunge!
I feel you have a talent for the darkness too :)
Cheers Ang
Jerry

[dafydd manton]

A complete change, quite a shock, but absolutely superb. Whether you are being gentle or on the Dark Side, you work never ceases to bring me pleasure. Thank you

[Delta40]

wow! what a turn around angliholic! I was searching for those colourful flowers but they're gone.....very nice poem

[angliholic]

WOW! The First Stanza was magnificent I was grasped in to the nucleus of the poem, by the very first line. On the other hand, the other stanzas were also superb. Being superb is very easy for you Angli. Thanks for this charming and philosophical, natural and spontaneously presented poem.

Regards!
Thanks, Adi, for the precious time and feedback!
Your grace always delights me!


Ahh my dark Angliholic.... you should try to be more positive :D :D
Only joking of course. I loved your step into the dark, thanks for taking the plunge!
I feel you have a talent for the darkness too :)
Cheers Ang
Jerry
Thanks, Jerry, for the nice feedback!
Like Mary, I guess I'd go back to the old path of mine!



A complete change, quite a shock, but absolutely superb. Whether you are being gentle or on the Dark Side, you work never ceases to bring me pleasure. Thank you
Thanks, Daffy, for the superb feedback!
You've given me much courage and strength to scribble on!
Thank you!


wow! what a turn around angliholic! I was searching for those colourful flowers but they're gone.....very nice poem

Thanks, Delta, for the nice feedback!
You'll find me playing with flowers and singing romantic songs again in no time!
I think I belong to that place, and it's in my blood!

[Maryd.]

Ouch this is a bit dark for you my dear... Well done.

[angliholic]

Ouch this is a bit dark for you my dear... Well done.

Thanks, Mary, for the thoughtful remarks.

I really like your new genre!
Are you really going back to the same old path?
It will be a great pity!

[Maryd.]

Thanks, Mary, for the thoughtful remarks.

I really like your new genre!
Are you really going back to the same old path?
It will be a great pity!

Dear Angi... I am not sure where I go from here. But time will tell. Think I might go evil on everyone... Do you think it is possible? Well maybe? Hahahaha

[angliholic]

Dear Angi... I am not sure where I go from here. But time will tell. Think I might go evil on everyone... Do you think it is possible? Well maybe? Hahahaha
No. I don't think you'll go evil because you're such an angel!

Yes. Time will tell, and tomorrow will take care of itself!

[Haunted]

Welcome to the dark side, Ang, you did an excellent job.

[hillwalker]

Shock! Horror! angli lends his soul to the master of the dark arts (I mean Jerry of course).

Your poems suggest you are a gentle soul so this no doubt took some effort. The opening verse is marvelous, a truly menacing overture.

The second verse is a little less dynamic - 'vile' weather is what we get in Scotland, not what you would expect on the dark side (perhaps 'the vilest weather' is more fitting).

And I think by verse 3 your courage abandoned you - 2 cliches, though they are followed by an interesting final line.

You seem to have enjoyed this experiment. I hope that we can read more of your exploits in future - that's one of the joys of writing, letting your imagination explore places that would normally be left unseen.

H

[Jerrybaldy]

You did an ace job Ang.
Jerry
master of the dark arts.

[angliholic]

Welcome to the dark side, Ang, you did an excellent job.
Thanks, Haunted, for the excellent feedback!
But this is the first and the last one!
I'm just not cut out for this!


The second verse is a little less dynamic - 'vile' weather is what we get in Scotland, not what you would expect on the dark side (perhaps 'the vilest weather' is more fitting).

And I think by verse 3 your courage abandoned you - 2 cliches, though they are followed by an interesting final line.

You seem to have enjoyed this experiment. I hope that we can read more of your exploits in future - that's one of the joys of writing, letting your imagination explore places that would normally be left unseen.

H
Thanks, Hillwalker, for the nice feedback and analysis!
I like your professional suggestions!
I'm learning and improving day by day because of your comments!


You did an ace job Ang.
Jerry
master of the dark arts.
Thanks, Jerry!
But I know pretty well that I'm not cut out for that!

[Jerrybaldy]

Oooh . I think you are Ang. Too much sun makes a desert :D

[Haunted]

let this be your first and last, or first and many to come, but you tried and you've met Jerry's challenge in flying colors (mostly dark colors) and impressed everyone here. Until you're back, leave the twisted dark arts to master Jerry, and I'll pick up the slack in the gloom and doom department. Congrats Ang!

[angliholic]

Oooh . I think you are Ang. Too much sun makes a desert :D

Thanks, Jerry, for the advice.
But the sun in spring and autumn is just perfect,
not so burning hot!


let this be your first and last, or first and many to come, but you tried and you've met Jerry's challenge in flying colors (mostly dark colors) and impressed everyone here. Until you're back, leave the twisted dark arts to master Jerry, and I'll pick up the slack in the gloom and doom department. Congrats Ang!

Thanks, Haunted, for the nice comment and good suggestion.
I'm pleased to know that you will take over the twisted dark arts!
Way to go!

[Haunted]

nono, Jerry is master of the twisted dark arts. I'm the queen of gloom and doom. Big difference :D

[angliholic]

nono, Jerry is master of the twisted dark arts. I'm the queen of gloom and doom. Big difference :D

Thanks, Haunted, for the correction!
And sorry! I still can't tell the differences between the twisted dark arts and gloom/doom! Would you explain it in a few words for me?

By the way, I'm sorry for taking you for a gentleman!
Apparently, you're a queen, a lady, right?

[hillwalker]

I still can't tell the differences between the twisted dark arts and gloom/doom! Would you explain it in a few words for me?

It's quite easy -

doom and gloom - the writer is probably feeling sorry for himself or is dissatisfied with the world or his lot in life and is sharing with the rest of us to lessen the pain - it is quite difficult to write this way unless you are indeed suffering at the time

the dark side - is handling all those twisted little thoughts we have inside us; the desire to be naughty for a day, the secret wish to annihilate someone who has done us wrong, to have someone who crossed us totally at our mercy for perhaps even just an hour..... if we were to act upon these frivolous thoughts we would presumably get locked away.
Writing about such things can indeed act as a safety valve for some people.
But, of course, by stretching your imagination you are free to enter the dark side even when your day is going well and you feel no resentment for anyone. Some treat it as harmless fun - but it can also allow you to walk around in someone else's shoes for a while, explore an aspect of life you had never considered before; which in turn can also reveal aspects of your personality that you never knew existed..... so tread carefully..... :Angel_anim:

H

[angliholic]

It's quite easy -

doom and gloom - the writer is probably feeling sorry for himself or is dissatisfied with the world or his lot in life and is sharing with the rest of us to lessen the pain - it is quite difficult to write this way unless you are indeed suffering at the time

the dark side - is handling all those twisted little thoughts we have inside us; the desire to be naughty for a day, the secret wish to annihilate someone who has done us wrong, to have someone who crossed us totally at our mercy for perhaps even just an hour..... if we were to act upon these frivolous thoughts we would presumably get locked away.
Writing about such things can indeed act as a safety valve for some people.
But, of course, by stretching your imagination you are free to enter the dark side even when your day is going well and you feel no resentment for anyone. Some treat it as harmless fun - but it can also allow you to walk around in someone else's shoes for a while, explore an aspect of life you had never considered before; which in turn can also reveal aspects of your personality that you never knew existed..... so tread carefully..... :Angel_anim:

H

Thanks, Hillwalker, for the crystal clear explanation!

You're like a professional poet and a professor in my eyes!

Best regards,