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Jerrybaldy
09-08-2010, 06:09 PM
The hall is packed with the gathered,
hushing as the clock hands align.
Majorettes twirl black silk.
The drummers beat either side
of the naked woman wet with sweat
parting her legs to the crowd.
Among the wide eyed
a frenzy barely contains itself.
Her hands raise her knees,
the beat quickens and intensifies.
She visibly dilates
to an audible delight.
Lights diminish and her writhing body
is lit now by fire breathers
spitting fuel and flame,
lighting her exposure
and the crowning head.
Moths are filling the hall
some landing burnt and crisp.
The crowd flail at the swarm.
The flickering light
dances on the now exposed new head.
The woman wails,
her eyes on the once white, flaking, ceiling,
blackened with the bugs of all seasons.
The crowd rip and remove each others clothes,
in a gloried lustful rape.
Bodies crawling over bodies
in a mirror of the blackness above.
The drums now so fevered
the beats punch their busy, probing flesh.
The woman screams above the ecstatic moans,
above the insect clicks, above the tempo.
The birth completes as the baby slops from her lips,
its tail beating each of her wet bloody thighs.

NikolaiI
09-08-2010, 06:12 PM
Um. Ew?

Satanist? I don't know what to make of this but it's a bit too gross for my taste.

hillwalker
09-08-2010, 06:15 PM
This is a sinister piece, Jerry.... reminds me of Polanski's 'Rosemary's Baby' but written as if you are describing a summer dance in some village hall or a W I meeting. That leap from 'majorettes' to 'naked woman wet with sweat'..... wow.

Delta40
09-08-2010, 06:26 PM
yes an english country village turned evil....and ew too!

angliholic
09-08-2010, 06:29 PM
fascinating and enigmatic piece!
I've read a couple of times, and I'm still attracted to it!
Very well crafted!

Jerrybaldy
09-08-2010, 07:16 PM
Nickolai. thanks for your comment. I'm not at all satanic but I suspect some of the gathered may have been.

Hill. thanks. It's maybe less sinister than I would have liked ;)

Delta. Ew too :D

Ang. I am surprised but happy that you enjoyed.

cheers
Jerry

Haunted
09-08-2010, 11:51 PM
I dont' know what to make of it Jer, it goes from sultry to scary for me.

Jerrybaldy
09-09-2010, 12:22 PM
haunted one. scary and sultry, Thats made something of it :)

dafydd manton
09-09-2010, 12:43 PM
I have to be honest, mate, I found it a bit too disturbing. Sounded like some repulisve "Live Show in Amsterdam", then the baby..... but the crowds? Not quite sure what to make of it. Well crafted, of course, but it made my skin crawl. Which means it is effective.

PrinceMyshkin
09-09-2010, 01:35 PM
I'm with those who didn't know what to make of this. Maybe because it's so much in the news, at the beginning I thought this might be an Islamic stoning and indeed it turns out to be rather worse than that.

But I'm not sure I'm with those who thought it "well crafted." Something too dispassionate about it throughout. I never fully believed that you were (and therefore that I was) witnessing the event.

Jerrybaldy
09-09-2010, 04:46 PM
You can't win 'em all :)

'tis one of my favourites, but it's in the horror genre and as a lover of horror fiction it was always going to be more my cup of tea than others I guess.

thanks for your comments
Jerry

dafydd manton
09-09-2010, 05:19 PM
All becomes clear. Not ever having read Horror, and not having such a vivid imagination, I couldn't separate this from reality, so I'm really pleased you explained. Cheers, mate.

Haunted
09-10-2010, 02:27 AM
ah, horror fiction...why didn't it occurred to me sooner...let's see, cereal killer, the old lady that rotted in her flat...now it all makes sense. In terms of grossness, this one wins by a mile. I must say, there are some lines in the first part of the poem I really really admire — how come I couldn't come up with something like that! Then as I read on, I'm glad I didn't come up with something like that!!! :D